"Normal" is such a subjective term. Seeking out people who are like-minded, who share my struggles and issues may not feel common to me, but it is far from normal. People spend their entire lives looking for someone who they can connect with, and that's why I'm here today. I was referred to this website long ago by a smaller YouTuber who has, in a way, inspired me to do something about my severe depression. I wanted to join at one point before, but I opted not to. Maybe I wasn't feeling like I had reached such a depth in my depression as I have now, or maybe I had a lot more faith in my social circle then than I do now.
I am a college student currently working on prerequisites necessary to declare the major I'm aiming for: computer science. I have an amazing girlfriend who sometimes I think is so perfect and idealized, that she's a living, breathing cliche - and I love her for that. I thought that finding people who I could connect to on an emotional, introvertive level was near impossible until I found her. I had only a couple friends who I could speak to, and while I appreciate the help that both of them gave me, I feel that interacting with them is just a bandage. I take antidepressants, too, and even when I feel full of hope, it's still being sucked down into a bottomless black hole.
I won't discuss my thoughts in full here because I want to keep my thoughts filed under a more appropriate board, but suffice it to say, my depression is stubborn. It feels that as I experience life more and more, it doesn't get weaker, but stronger. My greatest fears become realized even more with every passing day. I'll be sharing my feelings on this forum, but not in this thread. I just want it to be known that I'm looking for someone who can sympathize with this and maybe tell me a success story, or something to get over this agony. Thank you.