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Author Topic: Depressed, annoying heart, More symptoms than i can count!  (Read 475 times)

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Offline GADMartyr

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Depressed, annoying heart, More symptoms than i can count!
« on: February 10, 2014, 01:14:24 AM »
Well, i have been living with GAD for about 3 years now and the first year was probably the most horrible as i was learning to cope with the symptoms(or rather ignore them). My life has improved slightly since then but i feel like my old fearless self is lost.

Here are just a list of symptoms which i have been struggling with this couple of months.

Sleeplessness or random sleeping patterns, polyphasic in nature. I go to sleep at 11pm like a normal person and i wake up at 3 am in the morning without any difficulties waking up. Its like I open my eyes and I am ready to run a marathon. So i stay up until 8 am and go to work. Suddendly midday comes and i feel this urge to passout , so i usually get back home, lie down for a nap and guess what, i fall asleep, wake up around 8pm. Basicly my sleeping patterns are all over the place. I have tried to re-establish the normal sleeping regime that i had my whole life but it seems that all i do is toss and turn in bed while trying to do the un-doable. I just have trouble sleeping at the right times and ease sleeping at the wrong ones.

Blood pressure spikes:

Most of the time i get 120/80, but i get those strange moments where my BP is 137/95 or 150/95 for a short period of time, and i am not worried about anything. Usually after a night's out full of drinks and lady chasing, i feel as if the next day is going to be my last, and i ain't even talking about hangovers. It seems as if my body goes through alcohol withdrawal. High BP, feeling unwell, tiredness and so on.

Heart Palpitations;

I hate those, it just feels like my heart is signaling that its about to go into cardiac arrest. I can hear it all day long...24/7. Especially when i put my head on a pillow.


I feel as if i want to throw up all the time, but i never end up doing it. Maybe because i would consider it a weakness to do so, but if i put my fingers in my throat, im pretty sure something is bound to come out.


I have a good job that pays well, i have 2 girlfriends that i don't love who keep harassing me for somekind of relationship. I just lost interest in girls/being active. It seems that all i enjoy doing nowadays is sitting with my guitar and practicing jazz theory and working on my java knowledge and reading science books. I hate working, I hate having to do things, and I hate leaving my house. As days go by, i just feel like Im in a cage living a life without purpose. Relationships are only lies based on physical appearance and selfish desires which is dictated then again by mathematical statistics. Go to a club, talk to 100 girls, get numbers, date them, some of them will flake, others will say yes, tell them you feel something for them, bang you have a relationship. Working is retarded, you work your ass off for someone to make more money than you with your talent and hard effort invested into it. You earn money, enough to maintain a normal lifestyle but never enough to buy a big house or a workless and comfortable life. Its like a closed cycle of meaningless "do it because thats all there is to do". I don't know, deep inside i just feel like if i read more books i will somehow wakeup smarter and solve all those problems.

I am not suicidal because i know there is only one life to live, but I seriously feel like I am just living to be alive.

I don't believe in shrinks anymore, all they do is give you pills based on some statistical groups which make you into a drone and possibily even increase your risk of dying of something. They might talk to you, but they cannot live your life for you. Empathy isn't going to make my shrink write me a check for 1 million dollars and send me to an oasis filled with peace and pleasure.

I think "GAD" is causing all this.
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Offline kconnors

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Re: Depressed, annoying heart, More symptoms than i can count!
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2014, 08:31:46 AM »

Welcome to the site . . . I am a bit concerned that you feel as a Martyr to GAD because I don't think you are destined to that although many of us, myself included, have had that feeling . . .

I know that psychiatrists are not your favourite because many do tend to deal with the physical symptoms so perhaps a counselor who will work with you to identify the triggers and help you to develop a management plan might be worth a try . . . it may take a couple of tries to find a good match, but often it is well worth the effort . . .

I am not a med doc but I will tell you my experiences . . . first, it is not unusual for blood pressure to go up and down . . . .and although you may not perceive that you are worried about anything, there may be something playing out in your mind that is causing a bit of anxiety . . .

I am also not suggestion abstinence, but alcohol does have a major effect on GAD and if you are overindulging (and that, for some people, will be one drink) then you are setting yourself up for a hangover even if you think you can manage it the next day . . . . hangovers come with a variety of symptoms and if you have even the slightest association of your symptoms with alcohol withdrawl, that might be a place to start considering  why you need to have a night out that is full of drinks and if you are a binge drinker . . . your other symptoms may be also GAD related . . . only a med doc can tell you that so perhaps you might want to have a checkup . . .

I seems as if your personal interrelationships with women are somewhat problematic . . . you have two girlfriends but you still need to chase the ladies . . . .you don't love them but they harass you . . . are you sending them mixed messages? If not, stop seeing them or are you keeping them in the loop just in case you need female company which is not fair . . . .you seem to want big things and having objectives is not bad but a big house, financial independence, unlimited access to women who fit into your perception of a relationship, etc. are reflections of distant goals and when you cannot get immediate gratification, you become unhappy . . . .

You are 100% correct that that psychiatrists and in fact no one can live your life for you . . .but you have to take both the responsibility and the action to live your own life and I strongly suggest that the first would be some self-reflection and an inventory of what you want . . . GAD may be playing into this, but I also think that you need to reassess yourself so you can become less of a victim / martyr to GAD and more of a hero to yourself but taking steps to do what is necessary . . . recovery from GAD is a process and sometimes we have to give up many of the activities associated with our former comfort zone and look deep into whether we are the cause of intensifying the GAD or even if we do have GAD . . . .

So, my suggestions is to first say you have come to the right forum because we will support you in recovery, but you need to take the first steps first to a medical doc and then to find a competent therapist who will deal with the triggers because once you deal with root causes, often the symptoms become less intensified and then to come back here . . . . there are many on this forum who can appreciate what you are experiencing and we will do what we can to help . . .take care, kc

If you feel caged, then only you have the key to get uncaged . . . it is a process
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Offline clippergoodwill

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Re: Depressed, annoying heart, More symptoms than i can count!
« Reply #2 on: February 10, 2014, 12:17:13 PM »
We're definitely in the same boat as far as symptoms go. Someone could've just carbon copied our ailments between us, it seems.

First off - I'd suggest eliminating the stressors in your life. If it adds stress or tension - DON'T do it. I know that sounds easier said than done - but you're at a point that you have to put some sort of self preservation into play, or anxiety will get worse. Except working - at best, I'd maybe research a different job, you pretty much have to work lol...

I learned a long time ago from my experiences with problem-solvers (Doctors, mechanics, engineers, etc) - There's two distinct groups. People who treat the symptoms, and people who treat the problem. When I'm not working my regular job, I work on cars on the side, because it's fun, and most people don't like dealing with shops around here. If you bring your car to me making a squealing noise, I can diagnose the symptoms and make the noise go away without ever changing a single part, but it will come back. Sometimes I feel dr's may engage in this practice, they prescribe medicines that treat the symptoms, and don't solve the problem. However, I'm not a dr, so in reality, I have no idea. I read up on my medicines and they all seem like band-aids, they'll work as long as you take them, but maybe that's the only solution in some cases?

kconners post is pretty much dead on. I'm also a bit concerned what role the alcohol and girl-chasing plays in the GAD, but since I don't drink, I can't really comment. I also chase the girls from time to time, and sometimes that's actually a bit relaxing, unless I find one like my ex who seemed to enjoy raising my anxiety.  :laugh3:

Good luck to you, and keep us posted on how you're doing.

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Tags: GAD symptoms