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Author Topic: Everyone always run away when you need them...  (Read 156 times)

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Offline Nann James

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Everyone always run away when you need them...
« on: February 09, 2014, 01:39:56 PM »
So moving soon, tremendously stressful thing anyway. But for months everyone has been "so interested" in the move... but now.. as I need them more... and not for help moving just to calm me down... totally not there for me.   It isn't the anxiety so much as much as the complete absence of anyone to work it though with.
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Offline CarrieAnn

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Re: Everyone always run away when you need them...
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2014, 04:32:41 PM »
Hi Nann, there have been many times that I have felt the same way.  I think that most people do not understand anxiety or emotional issues, so they can't empathize, and they just don't know what to do or say to help.  My mother in law is a perfect example; when my Mom passed away in 2012, I was utterly devastated, and falling deep and fast back into the worst anxiety/depression.  All I wanted was for someone to be with me, to console me/show some empathy.  My Mother in law only lives a few blocks away from us, but never showed up.  At the funeral she did not even hug me, or offer any kind words at all.  In my mind I thought she should have been more helpful toward me.  But, I know the woman well, there is only so much she can give, as she is one of those people who thinks anything and everything is about her, so she doesn't feel sympathy very well, I would say she is kind of a selfish person.

On the other hand, I have known a handful of people who understand, and offer help when it's needed.  The people I speak of understand because they have experienced the same kind of pain, and therefore they can genuinely empathize. 

I find that when it's hard to find someone to care the second best option is to be there for yourself.  Nurture yourself with good food, relaxation time, exercise, good books, nature, anything that helps bring you back to center.  Even though it's always nice when someone else cares, we do have the capacity to be our own support system by doing those things that naturally calm us back down.

Best of Luck! :)
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Offline Nann James

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Re: Everyone always run away when you need them...
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2014, 05:22:33 PM »
Thanks Carrie Ann. Yes I know.. I am one of those people who doesn't always know how to support others.  I try to keep in mind that people give what they can but I hate the way that you know... when it is fun and exciting... they are all over it.. all wanting to be supportive but, as comes the time for support... for nerves... then they are gonzo.

I hate that during the time they are all over me.. I kind of trust them and start relying on their support only to have that dropped.. when I am most in need and have gotten used to allowing them in.

just frustrating.
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