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Author Topic: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.  (Read 1659 times)

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Offline tinam7

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #20 on: February 19, 2014, 08:28:36 AM »
This is the best news yet. Hip hip hooray for you. Don't let anything or anyone intimidate you. We are here to listen to you, encourage you, support you. Happy for you.
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Offline Caribou

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #21 on: February 27, 2014, 07:15:50 AM »
Well I am still doing okay.  My brother has been let back into our house, and believe me I have made him feel VERY unwelcome.  My sister and I have been calling him out, doing everything we can to make him feel extremely unwanted in a subtle way.  Now I'm not sure if that's a way of coping or dealing with the situation, but is that healthy or right?  Of course my parents said "you'll understand when you become a parent."  I have brought up the stealing, the drug problems, everything and they just look the other way.  But, believe me I have made myself loud and clear in subtle ways by pushing him out of the way or bringing up his numerous failures any chance my sister and I get.

He is 29 years old, and he still lives at home.  Now I'm 20, and I will admit I really want to move out and I could but I would have to work at my current job without going to school in order to have my own apartment and nothing else.  My grades are starting to remain stable, and I think things are picking up.  My life is returning to normal and I am actually happy again.  I don't feel bad one bit, but is what I'm doing (to my brother) harsh or mean at all?  And I don't know how much more I can say thank you to the people posting on this forum, but once again thank you.   :happy0151:
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #22 on: February 27, 2014, 08:23:16 AM »
You are one beautiful, magnificent person. The mystery of our brain, our psyche, our personality....who can understand any of it? What makes your brother the way he is? Study hard, become a brain scientist or a shrink and help all of us.

Believe it or not, you'll be the best you can be by developing compassion for your parents and even brother who somehow lost his way. Protect your property, but don't hate him. Help him, if you can. That's a lot to ask of you, but you were given gifts he does not have. Don't feel bad about living at home, be thankful you have the home. I may be wrong and you can always disagree. That's how we sometimes grow and learn.
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Offline Caribou

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #23 on: March 17, 2014, 09:24:11 PM »
I really appreciate the response tinam

I have honestly given up having compassion for my brother though.  He has been this way towards me for 15 years...yes this started when I was 5.  The mean comments, stealing, etc. have just escalated over the years.  While I completely understand what you are saying I don't want to have anything to do with him anymore.  He and my whole family have made me want to do away with myself so many times and not one of them notices or cares.  My brother has had a drug and alcohol problem forever.  He gets all the attention, and I get nothing.

I guess you have to be a drug addict or be an alcoholic to get attention in my house.  Well that's why I feel the way I do...if I were to end my life, then I wouldn't have to worry about him anymore.  He would finally win and I would no longer be a problem.  You know, the constant name calling and belittling has taken its toll on me.  They honestly have no idea what they have done to me, and I'm not kidding when I say not one of them cares.  I'm posting this now because as I predicted, my parents are completely fine with my brother again...they're talking to him, no acknowledgement of what he has done to me or them.  My sister even told me to f*** off. 
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #24 on: March 18, 2014, 07:48:21 AM »
Wish I could take your hands, look into your eyes and tell you, "Stay the course. Keep the faith. Trust yourself." It is very, very hard for you, no doubt about it. Feel for you. It is stunning how some of us must learn the toughest lessons right at home, right amidst the supposed nearest and dearest, the "loved ones."

But, you know, those lessons are priceless and will work for you in your life. You learn that some of the worst traits of humans are jealousy, selfishness, greed, indifference. And the best is the desire to learn and grow and develop the spark of good that is in you. Keep that spark alive and it will serve you well.
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