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Author Topic: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.  (Read 1666 times)

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Offline Caribou

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #10 on: February 13, 2014, 01:01:57 PM »
I just don't see the point anymore though.  I already waited 2 years to go back to school because I wanted to figure out what I wanted to do and also enjoy myself a little bit.  But, I don't think I ever want to go back because I have completely lost interest.  I have never been this depressed before, and come to think of it I don't think I've ever been depressed.  I would have a few bad days here and there but never anything that made me want to end my life.

I was more determined than ever about school and it literally only took 2 days to completely ruin that determination.  I'm just tired of trying.  A lot of people say that it gets better, well I've been on this Earth for 20 years now, and it has never gotten better.  I'm just sick of everyone and everything around me.  I honestly do appreciate the support from this forum because I know where I would be if I didn't have this support system - gone.
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #11 on: February 13, 2014, 02:58:53 PM »
First, there is a S hotline, 1-800-273-TALK where you can speak to someone. Next, what were you thinking of majoring in at school? What college should give us is a lifelong interest in learning. Sometimes it, in fact, does the opposite. Took me years to recover my love of the library and books.

You want to get prof. help. Perhaps you need some light meds, someone to talk to, someone on your side, as we are. Young adult years can be brutal, no doubt about it. Some people have mentioned support groups to which a therapist might refer you. You realize you are not alone and maybe can actually help another, find common interests. Just some thoughts.
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Offline Lalaland

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #12 on: February 14, 2014, 05:10:12 AM »
Hey caribou I'm really sorry you're feeling this way :(

Try to remember though, it might not feel like it but you always DO have options.

I'm not sure if it helps, but I've always focused on work and have actually learned a lot of really amazing skills. If you find a job you like, you will probably find that you will have some amazing opportunities to learn things you never thought of until you find the area that REALLY interests you to study.

Eg I'm 26 and have never had an opportunity to really study, but next month I finally start my degree. I work full time so can only take one subject at a time, and I'm learning online so it will take me at least 6 years.

My really wise friend said to me though, the six years will pass anyway. If you gradually chip away at what you want, instead of trying to do everything at once, you'll get there.

I think the same applies for you too. :) are there any courses you could do by distance and take your time with while you also build skills working?

You're only 20, you've got your whole life to figure this stuff out :)
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Offline frankyd

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #13 on: February 14, 2014, 12:45:23 PM »
its good that you actually want an education but dont give up now, people do listen even though it seems like they arent.
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Offline brokenbone

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #14 on: February 14, 2014, 04:42:50 PM »
First of all, I know this may not be of any help, but if you ever want to talk, I am around to listen.

I often feel like nobody cares or wants to listen, especially when I'm suicidal. Talking to someone who is suicidal, or even a person just struggling with things, seems like too much for some people to deal with. It is easy for them to ignore you when they can't imagine what you're feeling or aren't sympathetic to your situation.

I went through something similar recently, where I had to quit my job (I am eighteen, if that means anything) because I worked in a kitchen where there were so many things I could harm myself with. I was too anxious to go there every day. And my parents freaked out, called me a disappointment, all that stuff. But I realized that other things are more important to me. I guess what I am trying to say is that you should live your life for you, and your mental health is more important than money; it is even more important than education. You should do what you can to go where your heart leads you, rather than following a path that society suggests. If you aren't sure what that is yet, you could try to take a break to figure it out, because you are the most important thing in your life. You have to take care of yourself first and foremost.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Like someone else said, 1-800-273-TALK can also be very helpful.
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Offline Caribou

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #15 on: February 15, 2014, 12:37:20 PM »
Thank you again everyone, you are really helping me but I have had yet another setback.

My older brother stole my money I was saving for college and then stole my silver bullion collection.  I'm an investor in silver and platinum bullion coins and I noticed that a few of my silver bullion coins were missing from my collection.  He was the only one home when I left for work, and I know it was him because one of my sisters was in Chicago at the time, the other was at work as well as were my parents.  So not only am I stressing over school and work and trying to make money, but now this happened.

And don't tell me to tell my parents because they do the same thing they always do - get mad at him for 1 day and then let him back into the house.  I told them countless times I wanted him out of the house for good but of course him being the halo child he gets what he wants all the time.  I honestly don't know what to do.  He has made my life miserable for as long as I can remember.  He's called me a plethora of names (and I'm not allowed to say them on here because they are quite nasty), he's stolen from me countless times - including this most recent time, belittled me, etc.   :(
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #16 on: February 15, 2014, 02:21:09 PM »
So sorry this happened. Just terrible. How does someone become a thief to a brother no less? You must tell your parents, they need to know their failure with him. And keep track of what he owes you. Here is the abiding question: are people born that way or does the environment ruin them? He will only suffer for it in his life.

You have the right values, will come out on top, and we admire and support you for it.
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Offline brokenbone

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #17 on: February 15, 2014, 05:04:50 PM »
Thank you again everyone, you are really helping me but I have had yet another setback.

My older brother stole my money I was saving for college and then stole my silver bullion collection.  I'm an investor in silver and platinum bullion coins and I noticed that a few of my silver bullion coins were missing from my collection.  He was the only one home when I left for work, and I know it was him because one of my sisters was in Chicago at the time, the other was at work as well as were my parents.  So not only am I stressing over school and work and trying to make money, but now this happened.

And don't tell me to tell my parents because they do the same thing they always do - get mad at him for 1 day and then let him back into the house.  I told them countless times I wanted him out of the house for good but of course him being the halo child he gets what he wants all the time.  I honestly don't know what to do.  He has made my life miserable for as long as I can remember.  He's called me a plethora of names (and I'm not allowed to say them on here because they are quite nasty), he's stolen from me countless times - including this most recent time, belittled me, etc.   :(

Strange how similar our stories can be; my sister has stolen from me and the rest of our family countless times, with little to no consequence. Every time she gets away with something, like your brother, it enables her to do it again. And the sad part is that they hurt the people who have done little or nothing to them. I wanted to tell you that, because his behavior does not reflect anything you have done wrong. Try not to take his insults/bad behavior personally. However, one thing you can look at doing is contacting the police. I know that seems like a big step, but had I been of age at the time, I know I would have reported my sister for the 1000 dollars in jewelry she stole, then pawned, from me. She never did pay it back. If you want your brother to learn to take responsibility for his actions or return what he took, the law may be able to help.

How old is he if you don't mind my asking?

I'm sorry your parents are so clueless and, frankly, useless when it comes to helping you right now. It is really sad. But remember that you are never hopeless, and although it is very difficult, you can help yourself without needing them. You just shouldn't have to. Good luck.
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Offline Caribou

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #18 on: February 18, 2014, 12:04:48 PM »
I decided to bite the bullet and continue with my education.  I was able to pick up where I left off since I only left for a short time (almost as if I never left).  I don't want to end up like my brother, so I told myself that I have to go to school.  And I talked to my parents and they said that while they would be unhappy, they would rather see me quit my job than leave school.

I told my ex-girlfriend about it and she apologized for how she reacted and we got back together, although I told her I needed some time to myself for awhile.  She said that she completely understood and told me to take my time, but to also not stress out no matter what.  It kills me to say this, but my biggest inspiration to stay in school was my brother.  He was the person that I DIDN'T want to become, and he didn't go to college...in fact he barely graduated from high school.

So, in order for me to make something of myself, I decided that no matter what I had to finish school - or at least try.  I want to say that everyone who has been posting their feedback on this thread is amazing.  I feel much better now, and I am ready to try this whole thing again.   ;D
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Offline brokenbone

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #19 on: February 18, 2014, 12:22:18 PM »
I decided to bite the bullet and continue with my education.  I was able to pick up where I left off since I only left for a short time (almost as if I never left).  I don't want to end up like my brother, so I told myself that I have to go to school.  And I talked to my parents and they said that while they would be unhappy, they would rather see me quit my job than leave school.

I told my ex-girlfriend about it and she apologized for how she reacted and we got back together, although I told her I needed some time to myself for awhile.  She said that she completely understood and told me to take my time, but to also not stress out no matter what.  It kills me to say this, but my biggest inspiration to stay in school was my brother.  He was the person that I DIDN'T want to become, and he didn't go to college...in fact he barely graduated from high school.

So, in order for me to make something of myself, I decided that no matter what I had to finish school - or at least try.  I want to say that everyone who has been posting their feedback on this thread is amazing.  I feel much better now, and I am ready to try this whole thing again.   ;D

Aw, I am happy to hear all of this. Working, going to college, keeping up with relationships, and taking care of yourself is a lot to do at once, so you should be very proud of yourself! I hope it all goes swimmingly from now on.  :happy0151:
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