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Author Topic: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.  (Read 1189 times)

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Offline Caribou

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #15 on: February 15, 2014, 12:37:20 PM »
Thank you again everyone, you are really helping me but I have had yet another setback.

My older brother stole my money I was saving for college and then stole my silver bullion collection.  I'm an investor in silver and platinum bullion coins and I noticed that a few of my silver bullion coins were missing from my collection.  He was the only one home when I left for work, and I know it was him because one of my sisters was in Chicago at the time, the other was at work as well as were my parents.  So not only am I stressing over school and work and trying to make money, but now this happened.

And don't tell me to tell my parents because they do the same thing they always do - get mad at him for 1 day and then let him back into the house.  I told them countless times I wanted him out of the house for good but of course him being the halo child he gets what he wants all the time.  I honestly don't know what to do.  He has made my life miserable for as long as I can remember.  He's called me a plethora of names (and I'm not allowed to say them on here because they are quite nasty), he's stolen from me countless times - including this most recent time, belittled me, etc.   :(
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #16 on: February 15, 2014, 02:21:09 PM »
So sorry this happened. Just terrible. How does someone become a thief to a brother no less? You must tell your parents, they need to know their failure with him. And keep track of what he owes you. Here is the abiding question: are people born that way or does the environment ruin them? He will only suffer for it in his life.

You have the right values, will come out on top, and we admire and support you for it.
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Offline brokenbone

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #17 on: February 15, 2014, 05:04:50 PM »
Thank you again everyone, you are really helping me but I have had yet another setback.

My older brother stole my money I was saving for college and then stole my silver bullion collection.  I'm an investor in silver and platinum bullion coins and I noticed that a few of my silver bullion coins were missing from my collection.  He was the only one home when I left for work, and I know it was him because one of my sisters was in Chicago at the time, the other was at work as well as were my parents.  So not only am I stressing over school and work and trying to make money, but now this happened.

And don't tell me to tell my parents because they do the same thing they always do - get mad at him for 1 day and then let him back into the house.  I told them countless times I wanted him out of the house for good but of course him being the halo child he gets what he wants all the time.  I honestly don't know what to do.  He has made my life miserable for as long as I can remember.  He's called me a plethora of names (and I'm not allowed to say them on here because they are quite nasty), he's stolen from me countless times - including this most recent time, belittled me, etc.   :(

Strange how similar our stories can be; my sister has stolen from me and the rest of our family countless times, with little to no consequence. Every time she gets away with something, like your brother, it enables her to do it again. And the sad part is that they hurt the people who have done little or nothing to them. I wanted to tell you that, because his behavior does not reflect anything you have done wrong. Try not to take his insults/bad behavior personally. However, one thing you can look at doing is contacting the police. I know that seems like a big step, but had I been of age at the time, I know I would have reported my sister for the 1000 dollars in jewelry she stole, then pawned, from me. She never did pay it back. If you want your brother to learn to take responsibility for his actions or return what he took, the law may be able to help.

How old is he if you don't mind my asking?

I'm sorry your parents are so clueless and, frankly, useless when it comes to helping you right now. It is really sad. But remember that you are never hopeless, and although it is very difficult, you can help yourself without needing them. You just shouldn't have to. Good luck.
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Offline Caribou

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #18 on: February 18, 2014, 12:04:48 PM »
I decided to bite the bullet and continue with my education.  I was able to pick up where I left off since I only left for a short time (almost as if I never left).  I don't want to end up like my brother, so I told myself that I have to go to school.  And I talked to my parents and they said that while they would be unhappy, they would rather see me quit my job than leave school.

I told my ex-girlfriend about it and she apologized for how she reacted and we got back together, although I told her I needed some time to myself for awhile.  She said that she completely understood and told me to take my time, but to also not stress out no matter what.  It kills me to say this, but my biggest inspiration to stay in school was my brother.  He was the person that I DIDN'T want to become, and he didn't go to college...in fact he barely graduated from high school.

So, in order for me to make something of myself, I decided that no matter what I had to finish school - or at least try.  I want to say that everyone who has been posting their feedback on this thread is amazing.  I feel much better now, and I am ready to try this whole thing again.   ;D
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Offline brokenbone

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #19 on: February 18, 2014, 12:22:18 PM »
I decided to bite the bullet and continue with my education.  I was able to pick up where I left off since I only left for a short time (almost as if I never left).  I don't want to end up like my brother, so I told myself that I have to go to school.  And I talked to my parents and they said that while they would be unhappy, they would rather see me quit my job than leave school.

I told my ex-girlfriend about it and she apologized for how she reacted and we got back together, although I told her I needed some time to myself for awhile.  She said that she completely understood and told me to take my time, but to also not stress out no matter what.  It kills me to say this, but my biggest inspiration to stay in school was my brother.  He was the person that I DIDN'T want to become, and he didn't go to college...in fact he barely graduated from high school.

So, in order for me to make something of myself, I decided that no matter what I had to finish school - or at least try.  I want to say that everyone who has been posting their feedback on this thread is amazing.  I feel much better now, and I am ready to try this whole thing again.   ;D

Aw, I am happy to hear all of this. Working, going to college, keeping up with relationships, and taking care of yourself is a lot to do at once, so you should be very proud of yourself! I hope it all goes swimmingly from now on.  :happy0151:
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #20 on: February 19, 2014, 08:28:36 AM »
This is the best news yet. Hip hip hooray for you. Don't let anything or anyone intimidate you. We are here to listen to you, encourage you, support you. Happy for you.
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Offline Caribou

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #21 on: February 27, 2014, 07:15:50 AM »
Well I am still doing okay.  My brother has been let back into our house, and believe me I have made him feel VERY unwelcome.  My sister and I have been calling him out, doing everything we can to make him feel extremely unwanted in a subtle way.  Now I'm not sure if that's a way of coping or dealing with the situation, but is that healthy or right?  Of course my parents said "you'll understand when you become a parent."  I have brought up the stealing, the drug problems, everything and they just look the other way.  But, believe me I have made myself loud and clear in subtle ways by pushing him out of the way or bringing up his numerous failures any chance my sister and I get.

He is 29 years old, and he still lives at home.  Now I'm 20, and I will admit I really want to move out and I could but I would have to work at my current job without going to school in order to have my own apartment and nothing else.  My grades are starting to remain stable, and I think things are picking up.  My life is returning to normal and I am actually happy again.  I don't feel bad one bit, but is what I'm doing (to my brother) harsh or mean at all?  And I don't know how much more I can say thank you to the people posting on this forum, but once again thank you.   :happy0151:
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #22 on: February 27, 2014, 08:23:16 AM »
You are one beautiful, magnificent person. The mystery of our brain, our psyche, our personality....who can understand any of it? What makes your brother the way he is? Study hard, become a brain scientist or a shrink and help all of us.

Believe it or not, you'll be the best you can be by developing compassion for your parents and even brother who somehow lost his way. Protect your property, but don't hate him. Help him, if you can. That's a lot to ask of you, but you were given gifts he does not have. Don't feel bad about living at home, be thankful you have the home. I may be wrong and you can always disagree. That's how we sometimes grow and learn.
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Offline Caribou

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #23 on: March 17, 2014, 09:24:11 PM »
I really appreciate the response tinam

I have honestly given up having compassion for my brother though.  He has been this way towards me for 15 years...yes this started when I was 5.  The mean comments, stealing, etc. have just escalated over the years.  While I completely understand what you are saying I don't want to have anything to do with him anymore.  He and my whole family have made me want to do away with myself so many times and not one of them notices or cares.  My brother has had a drug and alcohol problem forever.  He gets all the attention, and I get nothing.

I guess you have to be a drug addict or be an alcoholic to get attention in my house.  Well that's why I feel the way I do...if I were to end my life, then I wouldn't have to worry about him anymore.  He would finally win and I would no longer be a problem.  You know, the constant name calling and belittling has taken its toll on me.  They honestly have no idea what they have done to me, and I'm not kidding when I say not one of them cares.  I'm posting this now because as I predicted, my parents are completely fine with my brother again...they're talking to him, no acknowledgement of what he has done to me or them.  My sister even told me to f*** off. 
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Feeling suicidal, no one listens.
« Reply #24 on: March 18, 2014, 07:48:21 AM »
Wish I could take your hands, look into your eyes and tell you, "Stay the course. Keep the faith. Trust yourself." It is very, very hard for you, no doubt about it. Feel for you. It is stunning how some of us must learn the toughest lessons right at home, right amidst the supposed nearest and dearest, the "loved ones."

But, you know, those lessons are priceless and will work for you in your life. You learn that some of the worst traits of humans are jealousy, selfishness, greed, indifference. And the best is the desire to learn and grow and develop the spark of good that is in you. Keep that spark alive and it will serve you well.
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