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Author Topic: Please help me see the light at the end of my tunnel. Dating someone w/ anxiety  (Read 305 times)

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Offline onedayatatime

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I'm in a relationship with someone with anxiety. We've been living together for almost 2 years. He gets anxious going places, him having to drive & going long distances. His parents used pick him up & drive him everywhere, he never went anywhere alone. He would only go to 2 grocery stores, target & his kids elementary. He doesnt work. Since we've been together hes gotten better. We go out MAYBE twice a month for a couple hours to do something "fun"(mini golf, bowling, walk around a few stores etc) cant go passed a 2 mile radius approx because thats too far for him and I drive. Hes able to drive & pick up/drop off his kids at school approx twice a month. Grocery shopping once a week is okay, but not always, and I drive. its like a rollercoaster. He does amazing one week then he's "just not up for it/having a hard time" the next two or three. Im losing hope. I need advice how to better cope with this. Hes thoughtful, sweet, funny and I love him so much. But i am becoming frustrated and resentful that after almost 2 years we are still at this same pace.. Please help. Any advice is greatly appreciated
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Offline Cuchculan

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People with anxiety have their safe zones. For a lot of them if they go beyond that point their panic will kick in. This seems to be a big issue with him. At best he could try work with a therapist and try expanding his safety zone. It won't be easy on him. Probably go through hell to begin with. It can be done. He just has to believe in himself. That he can do it. Most of all he has to want to do it for himself. If we push him into doing something he is not comfortable with it may set him back into a worse place. Understanding this much you can just support him and ask him would he like to try see a therapist and maybe work on going that little bit further. They always start off small. Just a short distance to begin with. Until they know it is safe. That they can do it. Then a little bit further next time around. Building it up each time. It will be a nightmare for him to begin with. But the more he sees he can do, the more he will want to do. So that would be the starting point in my eyes. Worry yourself not. I wouldn't expect you to understand the whole panic / anxiety thing as you really have to have an attack to fully know the fear and the thoughts that go through the person's mind. It can be described to you. That alone is never enough. Experience is the only way you may ever fully understand it. And I wouldn't wish that upon you.
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