Except for a help site like this and the good people we can meet here, I have little to no use for the so-called "advances" of technology. So I'll get on my rant horse.
Jason, turn it all off, except us of course. And turn inward to develop your inner self of which technology will rob you if you let it. Have read that you are a father. There is your big purpose. Quit the booze, quit YT and discover your mind, imagination, interests, hope, optimism and be the best role model possible. Such an attitude will slowly and surely help you to take the steps you want to take, the goals you want to pursue. Take it a small step at a time. We are no strangers to the feelings you're having, but we'll never give in.
Sometimes it takes a therapist, or light meds, or the holistic route of CBT, reading, thinking, journaling, etc. But you need not stay stuck.