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Author Topic: I'm feeling so stuck and hopeless  (Read 503 times)

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Offline Holly

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I'm feeling so stuck and hopeless
« on: February 04, 2014, 02:17:38 PM »
I'm having a hard time. I feel like i'm getting no where it's horrible. I have a huge fear of passing out. One day i was in Walmart and i started feeling really weird and then as i was walking out.. I felt myself passing out. It was the most horrible feeling ever. Ever since.. i have been scared to be alone for a long time... i am scared to death when i get the feeling because it still happens every once in awhile. It use to happen every single day. I started seeing a cbt therapist been going to her for 2 years. Well she has helped me a lot.. but now i am stuck again. She even told me i'm at a point where i just have to do things or stay stuck. It's so hard though. So i decided to try a new therapist just a couple weeks ago and well i didn't like her at all. A couple weeks ago me and my boyfriend were looking at a place right down the road from my parents..well when i went to see it i got this creepy feeling. SO i thought about ghost being there and it being possessed and all that. Well i opened up and told this lady my thoughts and she told me maybe i'm physic and maybe something is there! I am really scared from that. Not to mention we turned our rental applications in and are waiting to hear back! I really need to move and do this...but HOW when i am so scared of everything!? I am just not where i want to be in life. I don't have a job... I don't really go anywhere alone. It's horrible and i just want to feel better. I have my two year old daughter who needs me. Also medicine is not an option for me! I have been taking Ativan for 2 years and only because in the beginning i didn't know it was addictive. I have been weaning off very slowly and trying to get off this hell of a pill. Started out at 3mg and now down to .625 mg! I really just want to know how to overcome this fainting fear that controls my entire life and what i do! Please. I'm so unhappy and miserable. I snap at everything and i don't mean to. I just want to be Happy again and not be scared of every little thing.
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Online Tal

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Re: I'm feeling so stuck and hopeless
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2014, 02:30:04 PM »
Hi Holly,

It is frightening what you're feeling, but it is a common anxiety symptom that most of us have faced at one point in our lives. CBT is essential and you need to find another therapist and as far as medication goes, SSRI's are very helpful and they are nothing like Ativan. You really need to try them. I was on Lexapro 10mg and it really helped me. The side effects are minimal and inly for the first 3 weeks. I have met many people in here that were hesitant to be on SSRI, and once they gave it a try, they are feeling much better. They are not addictive like ativan, xanax..

I wish you a smooth move to your new apartment. It's nice that it is close to your parents. The ghost thing could be an OCD thought and you need to distract yourself from that.

All the best to you!
Tal
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Offline Holly

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Re: I'm feeling so stuck and hopeless
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2014, 02:33:40 PM »
It's not that i don't want to try it. I Just know medication will never take anxiety away. It's why i chose the CBT route. You know what i mean?
Thank you.
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Online Tal

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Re: I'm feeling so stuck and hopeless
« Reply #3 on: February 04, 2014, 10:49:26 PM »
I know what you mean. And I also know that CBT along with SSRI works the best.
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Offline Holly

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Re: I'm feeling so stuck and hopeless
« Reply #4 on: February 05, 2014, 01:42:25 PM »
Oh i know that. I'm just saying medicine don't take anixety away. It's only a band aid.
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Offline sneal

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Re: I'm feeling so stuck and hopeless
« Reply #5 on: February 05, 2014, 01:56:43 PM »
Hi ladies!  I also suffer from this fear/feeling of passing out, especially in public and while driving.  I feel for you and your situation.  I'm (finally) in my last semester of college and going to class is really difficult for me.  Being in an unfamiliar place with people I don't know really bothers my anxiety.  I've found that if I tell people about my condition and make them aware that, "Oh, hey, I have really bad anxiety and I might pass out," I'm able to deal with it a little better because I feel safer knowing that I'm not alone with it.  I'm also frustrated with my situation because I wasn't always this way and I know that I am capable of doing things on my own.         

I'm not necessarily a fan of medication, but currently take an array of pills for my anxiety.  I'm finding that the more I take, the worse I feel.  On top of my anxiety, I'm also a recovering alcoholic (going on 10 months sober; 2 years in recovery) so my psychiatrist won't prescribe me any narcotics (Benzos, etc.).  I recently started taking Seroquel at night to help me sleep.  I've been on it for about a month and really like it so far; weird dreams though.  I've found that taking Celexa (which is an SSRI) with my Buspar makes me angry, irritable and I also snap at people.  On days that I don't take it, I'm not as angry.  Vistaril (Hydroxyzine) helps when I feel a panic attack coming on.  So if you don't want to continue with the Ativan, which I was also on for about a year, I would suggest Vistaril.   

I would agree that medication is totally a bandaid and not a cure at all.  I don't want to live like this, but for the meantime, it helps.  And I would also suggest talking to other people about it, not necessarily just a professional.  You'd be surprised at how many people have this problem. 

Hope this was helpful!  Good luck with your move!  Oh and you should watch Long Island Medium lol; she has anxiety too.   
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Offline Nack

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Re: I'm feeling so stuck and hopeless
« Reply #6 on: February 05, 2014, 04:54:01 PM »
It's weird when you read posts and people have the same symptoms as you.  You think it would be easy to say, "Hey! this is anxiety so there's nothing to worry about"...but for some reason it's not that easy to turn off...unfortunately.

My panic attacks when away for a long time, but as of the last 6 months or so they have returned, and the main symptom that causes them is exactly what you are talking about.  Which is weird because it doesn't seem like your mind could make you that sick.  For me, it feels like I haven't eaten in days and I feel malnourished and feel like I'm going to pass out...like I have low blood sugar.  I walk into a grocery store feeling fine, then all of a sudden it's like I'm looking for the nearest person in case I have to pass out and have someone save me haha.

I'm hoping we can all get through this!
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Offline Starlys80

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Re: I'm feeling so stuck and hopeless
« Reply #7 on: February 05, 2014, 06:44:55 PM »
Oh i know that. I'm just saying medicine don't take anixety away. It's only a band aid.

Amen to this, sister! I find it really disconcerting how often pills are pushed on this forum as the best way to deal with anxiety. They do not cure anxiety, it will still be there whenever you decide (or or forced) to come off. These drugs' "positive" effects certainly don't last forever and many of the side effects just aren't worth it. And that is coming from someone who has been on SSRI's for 16 years!

Congrats on getting down to .625mg of Ativan! That is a huge accomplishment. I am currently tapering off my med as well and I know how difficult it can be. Would you say your anxiety now that you are tapering is worse than before you started the drug? It could be that this latest bout of anxiety is being exacerbated by your taper, and you might find it improves on it's own after you have been of the Ativan for a while. All I can say is you are doing what you need to by being in CBT therapy. Studies do show that CBT works much better than medication in the long term. Do you practice any meditation or relaxation exercises at all in addition to the CBT?
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Offline Holly

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Re: I'm feeling so stuck and hopeless
« Reply #8 on: February 05, 2014, 10:55:22 PM »
It's just horrible to feel like you're gonna pass out. Btw we got approved for the place! now i'm really anxious and scared and most of all those thoughts.
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Offline sneal

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Re: I'm feeling so stuck and hopeless
« Reply #9 on: February 06, 2014, 06:52:51 PM »
I have the same problem.  My anxiety used to manifest as chest pain, but now it's just a feeling of passing out.  My throat closes up, I get tunnel vision, the whole works.  I try to talk myself through it.  What's the worst that can happen?  You pass out.  You'll wake back up.  Sometimes I wish I would just go ahead and pass out so I didn't have to worry that I was going to pass out lol.
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Offline Holly

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Re: I'm feeling so stuck and hopeless
« Reply #10 on: February 06, 2014, 10:10:59 PM »
What do you mean your throat closes up
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Offline sneal

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Re: I'm feeling so stuck and hopeless
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2014, 10:37:22 AM »
It feels like I can't talk or breathe.  And if I do talk, nothing will make sense. 
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Offline hopeful78

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Re: I'm feeling so stuck and hopeless
« Reply #12 on: February 19, 2014, 05:27:09 PM »
Holly, I feel where you're at.

The med thing--ativan is only a temporary fix. An SSRI, if your doc thinks it's right, really just gets your mind to a calm place where you can really do the "work" in therapy, does that make sense? The med doesn't make the anxiety go away, but for me, it gave me the positive switch I needed to really get in there during therapy and work on myself. So I"d definitely at least consider it.

Ugh, I was JUST in the store and felt not fully dizzy but pass outish. I hate that! And i"M like "what's wrong?" but nothing I don't think. I think it was just being in that store and all the stimulus...I breathed and gave myself permission to shop and did that. Then I left, because that store does make me anxious. But since doing meds and therapy for numerous years, it's so much btter--it's to the point where a strange sensation doesn't ruin me. I'm praying you get to the same positive place:) xoxo
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