Welcome to the board Chris,
Sounds like this woman has made quite the impact in your life. I think situations like these strike more emotion than a spontanious threat (bank robbery, bully etc). Have you maybe thought of speaking with a Therapist about it?
How does your body react when these triggers are pulled? Sweatiness, elevated heart rate or breathing? or is it more of a saddened weighted feeling?
I think speaking with someone you can confide in will be your fastest and quickest sense of release. Sometimes it's hard to do it face to face if the credibility of the person you are speaking with isn't that good in means of "Trust Talk".
Also plenty of members on here, I can't think of their names right off the bat but I'm sure you will hear from them soon, are excellent people to talk to and the fact that you don't know them and they don't know you, it'd be easier to communicate how you really feel.
Don't let it eat at you, when the mind tells you there is a problem or a concern, actions must follow.
I wish you the best. Things will pan out. (: