In the last 4 years of my life, I lost my family to a nasty divorce from an unfaithful wife, started drinking heavily and toying with drugs. I lost my little brother to a horrible disease 2 years ago. My ex wife is holding my son from me and tries to make my life miserable by using my boy against me. Every time i get the motivation to get up I immediately start falling. I found somebody that i hold so dear, the feelings are mutual she tells me so, but it is so complicated that it just cant be, with her in my life I find the strength to push forward and every time i get up she lets me go. I know all the right things, do it for myself, get up for my son. I have so many people in my life i know loves me. Will do anything for me. I am actually pretty blessed as an individual goes, but none of it matters to me. I dont know why. I must be a pretty bad person for this. At least it feels so. Well theres my story, Im open for help. I cant do it on my own.