If you keep it right by the bed it will be louder for you. It's hard to find a loud fan these days, my daughter gets mad because she searches for one and they all say, "New quieter running..." or some such thing. If you get an older one at a yard sale, they are great, and there is ONE that isn't too soft from Wal Mart, the Honeywell. OR how about one of those sleep machines? (yes, my mom ALSO has this problem along with me AND my daughter!) She uses a sleep machine and keeps it on the train setting, she loves it.
So it looks like your anxiety with that is pretty common.