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Author Topic: Something to think about: When someone with HA, actually gets a serious disease  (Read 281 times)

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Offline ColdHands

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As you know, if you have been reading my posts, I have been going through liver testing.  Right now my tests as leading the doctor to believe I have Primary Biliary Cirrhosis.  Please don't google, as you will be scared and having it.  Basically its an incurable, though slow acting, liver disease that as a rule reacts well  to meds and can have a slow or fast process. 

My liver levels (ALP and GGT) are crazy high and I have some minor symptoms so far.  The levels are also indicative of liver cancer and PSC, (a worse version of PBC)

The thing is, after all the worrying I've done over my life, the wasting of precious time and energy, I may have an incurable disease, but I wasted so many years worrying about stuff that never happened.  I look back at all the vacations I messed up, time with family I messed up because I was busy googling on my phone or just worrying about things that didn't happen. 

I hate to say this, but it was my doggedness may have led to my diagnosis finally.  My doctor has been brushing my liver enzymes under the rug for over 2 years, and now they realize that this may be serious.  That doesn't mean that is what is happening to you.  My ALP levels were over 3 times normal and now over 4 times normal and my GGT over 16 times normal.  So don't read into this that all doctors are wrong.  For the most part, they have been right when I was obsessing over things to test then reassure me that nothing is wrong. 

The moral of the story is, don't waste time worrying about what "if".  I could now worry and obsess that my possible PBC is not PBC at all but PSC, which is more likely fatal sooner than PBC.  I was googling earlier and thought, what the hell am I doing? 

Please read this in the spirit intended.  I know that if you are in the middle of an episode it may go in one ear and out the other, but listen to me!  Go live your life and don't worry about things that probably won't happen.  In my case, it appears something is going to happen, but that doesn't change the fact that the long list of things I worried about over my life NEVER happened.

Take care.
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"There is just one more thing that bothers me."  Columbo

Offline MOchp

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I get what you mean and agree. It is hard to make it a reality to not worry, but is definitely what us HA folks should be working towards. I'm sorry to hear about your situation, but please know we are here for you and please let us know how things are going.
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Offline corwin

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this is a really inspiring post, thank you for writing it. i was thinking about this same sort of thing the other day when i saw a blog post written by a girl with cancer. she's happier than i've seen anyone with health anxiety ever be, and she actually is sick. that really struck me as important and i try to remind myself of that when i start wasting time worrying about my health.

i hope your diagnosis comes out okay. it sounds like PBC has a good treatment plan like you said so that's a positive thing! it kind of reminds me of how we as hypochondriacs obsessively worry about contracting illnesses, only to never think about how things might totally be okay even if we were to get those illnesses. tons of people have MS and cancer and etc etc but are able to live happy and healthy lives due to good treatment plans. but as anxious thinkers we tend to have catastrophic thoughts about any illness when in reality it's not so bleak at all. modern medicine does wonders in that respect.

keep us updated on your condition if you can! i'm sending you a lot of good thoughts. <3
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Offline ColdHands

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Thanks for your support.  Yes, I've been an HAer all my life and will probably continue to be.  I still don't know for sure what I have, but its looking like this.  If I get another diagnosis that isn't as bad, I will definitely be very happy. 

I hope I can learn from this if I do dodge the bullet and not obsess so much. 
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"There is just one more thing that bothers me."  Columbo

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