Hello, I'm brand new here. I came across this site in one of my many internet searches relating to my anxiety. I don't know if anyone else is like this, I have a habit of searching online, it's like I'm looking for answers I know don't exist.
I have been diagnosed as having generalised anxiety disorder. I have moments of panic and depression. I'm just coming out of one of these episodes now. It's been nine days and I've barely eaten, but I've slept a lot. I'm coming out the other end, but I did have days of feeling suicidal (called a hotline and everything...). I would pray for death. I'd offer myself up in place of some other worthy person who was to meet an unfortunate end. I had made a plan *just in case* what I am afraid of comes to fruition, and how to make it look like an accident. I hate feeling this way, and I hope to never go through that again. It seems to run in my family, and I am lucky to have very supportive people in my life.
Someone will say something and I will trigger something in me, and all of a sudden I feel like the world is coming to an end and I am going to lose everything. A Counselor once said to me (and I've read this elsewhere also) that the things we worry about most, when suffering anxiety, don't happen. My wonderful brain has taken this to mean that if I don't worry, it WILL happen.
Currently taking Paxil/Paroxtine 40s and I've been prescribed 10 of Nortiptyline to boost it. I have an AMAZING GP, he really knows his stuff, so I feel very fortunate. I have tried counselling and I don't think it's for me. Meditation is helpful, as is exercise, but I don't have the energy to do this lately.
Unfortunately I have been drinking daily since this latest episode started (not to the point of being drunk) as it takes the edge off. I don't want to become dependent on alcohol.
I am currently making pro-active changes in my life, that I think will help to eliminate these triggers (there is a pattern, too paranoid to share).
Anyway, I hope to make some new friends on here.