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Author Topic: I wanted to introduced myself.  (Read 85 times)

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Offline garrelor

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I wanted to introduced myself.
« on: January 30, 2014, 09:30:02 PM »
Hello,

I'm actually not even sure I'm posting this in the right place,  but I'd like to hear some input. I want to make sure I'm not crazy. As many anxiety stories I read about, I can't seem to comfort myself about how crazy I feel all the time.

My name is Lorena and I am a 20 year old woman. I am an event coordinator and I need to be perfect.. in everything. I at least have to take 1.5 hours for my hair and make-up in the morning because everything has to be perfect. If it's not perfect, my whole day is ruined. When I date people, I overthink every single thing I say and do. Even after the fact, I replay actions and words said especially when your date is unresponsive. I also have a ton of stomach problems, which I hear is common in people with anxiety. I've had gastritis and IBS for years now and I have now given up on normal eating habits. My anxiety has gotten so bad that I literally never want to go into fast food buildings, grocery stores, etc. because I feel like people are always looking at me and judging me. This inhibits me from going A TON of places. I don't go to parties anymore. I rarely go out in public if I'm not dressed to perfection. I mean, I will, but it's not an ideal situation for me.

I'm also very confused because I'm an event coordinator. I mean, obviously I can't be too debilitated by my anxiety if I can coordinate weddings from start to finish. Is my perfectionism and anxiety why I am so good at what I do? I stand in front of tons of people and coordinate rehearsals, talk to people every second of the day, tell people what to do and all with such confidence. Sometimes I think I'm even fooling myself. Every person that meets me says that I have such a great personality and that I am beautiful. What I always say to myself is, "At what cost?" Do I spend too much time trying to impress people I don't know and not enough time building relationships with people I need to be building relationships with? I only have one best friend and she is the only one that absolutely knows that, contrary of what people see at my place of work, that I am reserved, scared and overthink.. EVERYTHING.

How can it be that I am a social butterfly to everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, around me, but when I sit and think about my life - friends, family, work, school, etc. - I feel like I am so lost and so hopeless and will never fit in anywhere.

I honestly, just want someone to let me know that I am not alone - that I am a normal person no matter how crazy I feel.

Sincerely,
Lorena
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Offline Anxiousmind77

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Re: I wanted to introduced myself.
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2014, 01:29:23 AM »
Hi! I am also new here. I hope what I write  gives you some comfort tonight. YOU ARE NOT CRAZY! Anxiety sure can make you feel that way tho. I don't know how many times I  have sought reassurance that I am not crazy from family, friends and my boyfriend. Your description seems really similar to many classic anxiety symptoms. So just keep trekking and seeking out new ways to manage your anxieties, that's what I'm trying to do! I have found a few that worked for me in certain times of need. Take care and best wishes. :)
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Offline eva12

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Re: I wanted to introduced myself.
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2014, 03:43:45 AM »
Hi Lorena.

You are not alone..you are not crazy.
I hope by joining this group you will realise how common anxiety is and the different ways it manifests itself in different people.
I'm still hoping to find someone else who is racked with anxiety through guilt as I'm currently feeling like the only one and that I don't deserve to feel anything other than how I do..but I do feel better for reading others stories and trying to provide some comfort if I cab
:-)
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Offline garrelor

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Re: I wanted to introduced myself.
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2014, 09:34:32 PM »
Thank you guys. Both of your comments made me feel much better! I'm glad I'm not alone because I can definitely convince myself that I am.

What are ways that you manage your anxiety? Do you take medication? If so, does it help?

Thanks again!

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