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Author Topic: Unemployed After Graduation  (Read 313 times)

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Offline Radiant_Nebula

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Unemployed After Graduation
« on: January 30, 2014, 06:46:16 PM »
Hello everyone,

Recently-ish (about 7 months ago) I graduated from college. Since then I've been applying to any job that is remotely applicable to my business degree and haven't even been called for an interview. In my time of unemployment I have had a lot of time to think and its making my anxiety go out of control. The time to think plus the stress of not getting any job offers is just so stressful and seems to be peaking my anxiety. And people really aren't helping because a lot of people (friends, acquaintances, friends parents, random people, etc.) look at me and scoff and ask me what I do all day or why I don't apply to the grocery store (because they're always hiring cashiers!).

That leads me to my next point. I'm very conflicted about applying for minimum wage jobs. I graduated Summa Cum Laude and worked two part-time jobs through out college, so partially I don't want a minimum wage job in a big part because of pride. Did I pay 30 grand and work my ass off to settle for minimum wage (again)? Secondly, I think cashiers have one of the most stressful jobs that I can possibly think of. I seriously applaud anyone who can do it. The general public, money, germs, and an unset schedule would just push my anxiety through the roof!

I'm in a unique position. I live with my boyfriend who makes enough money to support both of us because he found a really good job. He's telling me not to settle for a job that will just make me unhappy and that I shouldn't worry because hes making enough money to take care of us, my mother agrees. They don't want me to find a job that they know will just make me so unhappy. Somehow that stresses me out too because I feel bad living off of him and not contributing anything! No one else I talk to seems to share the same opinion that they do though....

So my question, Should I go for a minimum wage job which is going to stress me out by its nature (but will give me less time to think about my anxiety and less scoffs from others) or should I continue pushing for a job that applies to my degree and be anxious waiting? It just seems like either way I lose...

This is a cause of so much anxiety for me and If you made it through reading that I seriously respect you! Anyways, does anyone have any advice or post-graduation stories that may help?
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Online MobileChucko

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Re: Unemployed After Graduation
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2014, 07:19:04 PM »
Hi R_N...

There is an old adage, "Busy hands are happy hands!"  That certainly holds true for those of us that suffer from anxiety.  Keeping busy is important therapy in itself.

As far as pay, I would suggest you just forget that.  What I mean is that there are a lot of minimum wage jobs that are relaxing and satisfying, and a lot of well paying jobs that are very high stress.  So don't be concerned about pay.  Instead, focus on the job, finding one that you are going to enjoy, and one that will also support your mental health.

And here is another suggestion for you.  I live in a city that has a very large children's hospital.  They have a volunteer department.  You can spend the entire day there helping sick children with their school lessons, or playing with them.  You can even hold and feed babies in their neonatal ICU.  There is no pay, but it is very rewarding work, helping those children and babies, and at the same time, you will be helping yourself.

Find something that you would "love" to do!

The very best to you, R_N!...  Chuck
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Offline Radiant_Nebula

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Re: Unemployed After Graduation
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2014, 07:31:48 PM »
That is a really, really good suggestion! Oddly enough I think I would love working at the movie theater, Hallmark, a bookstore, a pet store, etc. that wouldn't pay much but would be something that I would enjoy. But for some reason everyone keeps pushing me towards the grocery store when I know I would just make a horrible grocery store cashier. I guess that's the thing that stresses me out. Its not the pay in itself really but the pay plus the job (mainly dealing with that much money all the time!). I'm good with money to a point but when you have to deal with a constant line of people with large balances it just stresses me out. I feel that I would be a good cashier in a mellower place but Target, Walmart, a grocery store, or a bank teller just seems to be too much money! I always start second guessing myself and doing math wrong and mentally freaking out!

I didn't even consider the volunteering but its brilliant! There's actually a domestic abuse place around here that I would love to volunteer for. 
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Online MobileChucko

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Re: Unemployed After Graduation
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2014, 07:49:38 PM »
Hi R_N...

I'm so glad that you liked my suggestions!

I wish you the very best!  Good luck to you!...  Chuck :sign0111:
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Offline stephpuck

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Re: Unemployed After Graduation
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2014, 07:50:08 PM »
 I had a similar problem when I graduated. I ended up getting a job at Bed, Bath, and Beyond until I was able to get a position that I wanted a year later. It helped keep my mind off of things and helped me to make friends in a new city. The discount at Bed, Bath, and Beyond was awesome :)
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Offline scb07d

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Re: Unemployed After Graduation
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2014, 09:36:35 PM »
I would 1) Get a basic, minimum wage job even if it's not fun, 2) Once you get a basic job, apply for better ones, and 3) Volunteer somewhere so that you're doing something in the meantime. Gaps on resumes really aren't good. If the employer sees that you haven't done anything in like a year, they might not hire you.

You definitely don't want to be in a position where you can't get ANY job down the line. That's when anxiety becomes legitimately unmanageable and your life falls apart.  :dazed:

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Offline Abraham2007

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Re: Unemployed After Graduation
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2014, 11:30:49 PM »
Hi Radiant_Nebula,

Hello everyone,

Recently-ish (about 7 months ago) I graduated from college. Since then I've been applying to any job that is remotely applicable to my business degree and haven't even been called for an interview.

Congratulations for earning the degree.  Even better, good work on making Summa Cum Laude.

Quote
So my question, Should I go for a minimum wage job which is going to stress me out by its nature (but will give me less time to think about my anxiety and less scoffs from others) or should I continue pushing for a job that applies to my degree and be anxious waiting? It just seems like either way I lose...

Sounds like you're the hamster on the wheel, and you keep on spinning and spinning, but your in the same place, running anxious. Eh?  :happy0151:

You really just need to some basic CBT work, which is redirect your focus.   Everybody here has given you great advice, like stay busy or work at a volunteer place.  However, your thinking is very lazy. Sorry, for being blunt. If you can discipline yourself to get good grades, you should discipline about how you direct your thinking. '

A good way to shift focus is to get out a notebook, and for twenty minutes in the morning, and later in the evening, write out positive aspects of where you are now.  Stop focusing on not having the right job, now, or working at a mininum wage job.  You're just complaining and not seeing the bright side of things.  So to make you feel more positive, begin to write a list (and don't make the count important as the feeling) and write out something good about where you are now. 

You can appreciate you don't have to study all night for a test that made you anxious.
You can appreciate not having to waste money on gas to get to school.  (It's not huge, but it can feel better.)
You can appreciate a lot of twenty somethings, like yourself, are looking for better paying jobs, not just you, due to the economy. (Again, it's not huge, but you're beginning to see things differently, and improving your feeling.)
You can appreciate you have extra time to make dinner for your boyfriend, since you never had time when you were in school and working two jobs.  Significant others love it when their partner makes them dinner.   It's very romantic  ;D
You can appreciate having time to explore new cooking.   Aren't there some good cooking shows on YouTube you can check out for ideas?  :happy0151:
You can appreciate you have time to take it slow, before you get the higher paying job, because those higher end jobs have more stress, and right now you just want to take it slower.
You can appreciate your not even twenty five yet.  It's not like you don't have an extra forty more years, until you retire, to find that ideal job.  ::)

Anyway - I wrote your statements, and I feel better.   :yes:  If you write out those statements, or even better, once you create your own statements after twenty minutes, you'll feel better.  After a week of doing this AM and PM, you'll have  different attitude on the whole situation.  You'll also be less anxious about taking a minimum wage job, because you'll have felt better that you can relax.  With a redirection in focus, you can see things differently, and improve the way you feel.

Not to mention, that high paying job will come soon. You have the degree.  You just need your resume on a site like Monster, and the right recruiter will be calling you to set up that interview!



I'm good with money to a point but when you have to deal with a constant line of people with large balances it just stresses me out. I feel that I would be a good cashier in a mellower place but Target, Walmart, a grocery store, or a bank teller just seems to be too much money! I always start second guessing myself and doing math wrong and mentally freaking out!

Didn't you graduate with a business degree?   I graduated with a business degree too, and I love money.  LOL.  Don't tell your future employer that you don't like looking at large amounts of cash, especially if you want to make higher levels of money.

You probably wrote that paragraph with the intent to justify your fear, and I may have untactfully deemed it silly.  I mean - how can you not like lots of money if you understand  business.  However, know it's relevant to perception.  This issue doesn't' have to be an issue, unless you make it.

You can, however, see things differently, by shifting your focus with the written exercise, I mentioned. Over a few days, you won't see so much lack in your life, like you do now, because you will have changed your focus.   I hope you try the exercise.
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Quacks prey on us Anxiety Disorder sufferers as part of the Mental Health community, since we can be desperate for healing.  Don't be victimized, instead be EDUCATED about  QUACKERY!!!!! http://www.quackwatch.com/ 

Offline Radiant_Nebula

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Re: Unemployed After Graduation
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2014, 11:24:45 AM »
I really do have to work on my thinking and I know that... I used to be really positive about it because I graduated so high in my class, held two part time jobs in college, and even had my own cleaning business through out high school. I thought that I had a great resume and skill set! I showed my resume to my family, friends, and former professors and they all said that it looks great and that they would be shocked if I didn't get a call soon. I posted my resume on any job site that would take it and have sent it to any opening that was remotely close to my degree (I lost count at 82 places). I'm applying for secretarial, receptionist, assistant, public relations, marketing, and human resource positions. Somewhere along the line of being unemployed I just lost hope and started blaming myself ('No ones called me so obviously something is wrong with me') that kind of thinking has really really given a big hit to my self esteem and I will definitely try those exercises.

I get that 'didn't you graduate with a business degree' comment a lot haha. I finished calculus and statistics both with As so its really not a math issue. Its kind of hard to explain. To me there is a difference between sitting behind a desk with a calculator and actually having to do quick math in your head in front of a line of shoppers. I can do math well if only I am given the time, if I start to feel pressured I start to make mistakes. This revelation actually has made me psychoanalyze myself! The only real experience with a fast paced cashier environment I had was at a fast food restaurant where I was given 10 minutes of training and then left on the register by myself at dinner time. This might be where my anxiety started because I never got any adequate training and kept screwing up and getting so frustrated with myself. With adequate training I might be a great cashier (Positive thinking!). I have since been a cashier at a box office and didn't make a mistake doing that so I guess I should focus on my success with that rather than my failure at the fast food place.

Maybe if I don't find anything I will shift my focus to starting my cleaning business again! I have since moved from my original area but if I could do it there I can do it here right? See you've already helped my thinking!

Thank you everyone for the advice! It means so much to me that people are taking time out of their lives just to try and help me through this. I appreciate it more than you could ever know! 
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Offline snowmanrn

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Re: Unemployed After Graduation
« Reply #8 on: January 31, 2014, 02:37:48 PM »
I have been a neonatal ICU registered nurse for over 10 years. You can volunteer to help cuddle the bigger babies and I think people get great satisfaction out of it. Before I was a nurse I did several minimum wage paying jobs. The funnest job I ever had was delivering pizzas for Dominos. I challenged myself to redefine the standard of good work while I was there and not only made a lot of money due to this but learned about customer service which helped me a lot later on as a nurse. I understand you graduated SCL. I did as well. Never got a "B" in my life. Doesn't matter, take every opportunity to learn something from the position you are in and excel at it. Your resume will look better if you have a job no matter what it is versus holding out for the golden opportunity. Trust me you won't have to do the job forever if you don't choose to. Who knows what opportunities may come your way.

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