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Author Topic: Stress at Work  (Read 200 times)

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Offline Katiesue04

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Stress at Work
« on: January 29, 2014, 05:40:25 PM »
I am in an extremely stressful situation at work.  I basically have a boss that is the president of the company.  The second boss just takes over when the boss isn't there he has worked with him for a good 20 years.  The head boss's son also works at the company.  The second boss is basically a dick to everyone and so everyone vents to the boss's son about the second boss because it's easier than venting to the boss and a lot of times the boss doesn't want to hear it.  So I decided to write an e-mail to the head boss below about what the second boss has actually been doing to make everyone upset.  I had to write him an e-mail in fear I would start crying in front of him.  Below is what I said.  Last week I finally told him about my GAD.  So he knows I am on meds.

I feel really embarrassed that I have to keep writing you e-mails but this way I can get out what I really need to say.  Jamie told me you spoke with Don on Friday.  Not sure what was said or if anything was even done about it.  I feel the tension in the office and something needs to be done.  Itís making my anxiety go crazy!  I will tell you the complete truth.  I donít like how Don treats people. He knows a lot of things and he is good at his job but he treats people like crap.  I honestly feel like I am 12 sometimes.  I am scared to ask him questions so I often ask Jeremy or Dan first.  I am afraid he will tell me I am stupid and I should know better.  I shouldnít be afraid to go to my boss and ask questions but I am.  I already beat myself up a lot and Don doesnít help the situation.  One day I am Donís best friend and the next day I am his worst enemy.  Itís always who is Don going to pick on today when he comes into work.  Dan and I always get excited when Don isnít in and we always call it Don free days!  Just yesterday when I was trying to deal with my flooded kitchen and got in late, I still knew I had to get GMIA out.  Finally crystal e-mailed me updated calcs that morning but I still had to go through them and Don knew that.  Apparently Daren called just after I got in and without even consulting me first, Don told Daren at C.D. Smith that I should have them done by midmorning(which to me says before noon).  This made me upset and made an already stressful situation worse.  That is why I was very panicked in the afternoon.  Don never asked me how long it would take.  Instead he told a little white lie to Daren instead and I hate liars.  This happens a lot.  I donít like it.  Maybe thatís why I am not a sales person maybe I just donít understand.  I always try and tell people the truth because I believe that itís better to tell the truth than to have them even more pissed off at you when you tell them something you canít stand by.  There were issues with the calcs. but thankfully I was able to get them out before the end of the day.  I admit I often go to Jamie and tell him all the issues I am having rather than go to you and I am afraid it has worn on him.  I donít want Jamie to quit his job over Don.  In all honesty I was the same way a year ago.  I wanted to quit my job because of one person.  I try and not let Don effect me and I must admit the meds do help J  Jeremy has already applied to different jobs in fear of getting fired, Tom wants to quit his job because of Don, Jamie wants to now too, and I did too at one point.  So this has been brewing a lot longer than you think.  When Dan was going through his rough time, Don kept making comments to me that maybe Dan should be let go.  I didnít like that.  If Don had issues with Dan then he should have talked directly to you and not involve us or even make comments to us about it.  Right before Don was about to fire Scott he called me in his office and asked me if I think he should be fired.  No offense that is not my decision and I told him it wasnít.  I was very upset he did that.  I Donít think Don should have asked me that at all.  I didnít appreciate how he treated Jerry in the end too.  I know Jerry was getting old and forgetting things but Don was downright mean to him.  This is just how I feel.  The decision is yours and what happens, happens.  I just donít want Jamie to quit because of Don but in the end thatís Jamieís decision too.
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Offline kconnors

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Re: Stress at Work
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2014, 07:36:41 PM »
Hi,

Did you get a response???? KC
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Offline Katiesue04

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Re: Stress at Work
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2014, 09:36:11 PM »
No I didn't yet. I think he read it but i sent it at the end of the day so he hasn't said anything to me yet.
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Offline kconnors

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Re: Stress at Work
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2014, 09:45:59 PM »
Okay . . . if you are comfortable with doing so, let us know . . . important focus is to take care of you . . . kc
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Offline Katiesue04

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Re: Stress at Work
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2014, 03:14:34 PM »
Well nothing was said to me yet. The second boss was awkwardly nice to me today.  Still a lot of awkwardness in the office. I sit next to the boss' s son and usually we chit chat up a storm not today. It's not helping my GAD any. I wish someone would at least tell me it's water under the bridge but I keep thinking about it and can't concentrate at work.
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Offline Katiesue04

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Re: Stress at Work
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2014, 03:30:51 PM »
I shouldn't be upset that the boss' s son could potentially be looking for another job but I am. I guess it's because he's the only one I can really open up to at work when I already have a difficult time expressing my feelings.
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Offline kconnors

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Re: Stress at Work
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2014, 06:28:33 PM »
You are quite insightful . . . you do not want to lose someone with whom you have a connection, especially because work is difficult. For us with anxiety, myself included, change is a trigger for anxiety because it disrupts our comfort zone, but change does happen. People on whom we rely have lives of their own and they have to live them the way they see fit. But, rather than anticipating what may happen, focus on today and what is in your life. Yes, it is quite a struggle, but just try one or two things a day. You have trouble expressing your feelings. Start writing them out in detail and looking at them. Perhaps you might discover why you feel that way. For some of my fellow sufferers of anxiety, especially one good friend, it is a sense of low self-esteem coupled with a distaste for confrontation to make her needs known . . . .this came about initially because of an abusive marriage . . . bit by bit she is rebuilding . . . not a quick process, but she sees a counselor and, if things get overwhelming, she will call me and we will walk through things . . . getting it out, helps to objectify the anxiety and its triggers . . . so, come here any time, and have confidence in yourself that you will learn to manage your anxiety . . . it takes time and effort, but I sense you have the strength to do it . . .take care, kc

p.s.  don't make yourself feel guilty by saying you "shouldn't be upset" --- your emotional reaction is a physical manifestation of your anxiety . . . right now it is part of you . . . this is not something you control; it is something we all learn to manage
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Offline Katiesue04

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Re: Stress at Work
« Reply #7 on: January 30, 2014, 07:33:54 PM »
kconnors thank you for your reply.  I am on meds for GAD but I know they won't work alone.  I was panicked after work so I decided to make an appointment with my psychiatrist for Tuesday and I want her to suggest someone for me to do therapy with.  You hit it quite on the head.  I had a very verbally abusive father growing up.  I always tried to do my best just so he would be happy with me but he never was.  To this day I still beat myself up when I know I can do better.  Maybe this is why I have trouble expressing myself to this day.  Lots to think about. 
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