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Author Topic: Anxiety getting worse...  (Read 330 times)

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Offline unstoppable

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Anxiety getting worse...
« on: January 29, 2014, 12:23:20 PM »
Hey

I have always been a worrier ever since I was little. I use to self harm too and until recently these thoughts of self harm have emerged.

Since my OH being really sick and my son being diagnosed with autism , I have been getting more and more anxious each day, it seems to be getting worse. I went to my GP who gave me an anti depressant but that just made me even more depressed.

anyway I came off them and I decided it was best if I get some therapy. I am in the throws of getting assessed. I have recently made good friends with my neighbor she has been there for me when I needed someone to talk but at the moment she is the one I feel anxious about the most. She is like a mother figure to me and I really don't want to loose her.

she noticed I was down these past two days and she kept phoning to see if I was ok and I said i was. I decided to text her to say' thank you for being there for me, it means a lot, if you need me I'll be here anytime as I love and care for you like a daughter x' now I am worried (anxious) that I might have said too much and I am worried she will never talk to me again etc..

sorry to babble on

Vicky
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Offline kconnors

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Re: Anxiety getting worse...
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2014, 07:42:41 PM »
Vicky,

First you are not babbling . . . .

You are showing strength by connecting  . . . .

Your neighbour is functioning as a good friend and all you did was express your gratitude . . .

Perhaps, consider reconnecting with another text that simply says:  "Hope you are fine. Can we have coffee sometime?"

Her response will tell you what is going on . . . you have to remember that everyone in our lives have their own life to live also (is her relationship with her own daughter good? not so good? etc.). . . so, rather than creating a situation that may or may not exist, just let her know that you are thinking of her . . . you cannot control anyone's reactions other than your own . . . reach out to her, keep it brief, and know that we are here to support you . . . and you can babble on as much as you like because that is a great strategy to get stuff from the inside of our feelings out to the outside so we can deal with them . . .take care,  . . . .kc
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Offline unstoppable

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Re: Anxiety getting worse...
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2014, 03:02:05 AM »
She has no children but is sibling of 6 others so she has a big family. i am just worried she won't want to know me.
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Offline kconnors

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Re: Anxiety getting worse...
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2014, 09:05:09 AM »
Hi,

I know how difficult it is and how anxiety provoking it is to find someone with whom you connect and then fear losing the connection . . . you cannot control what she decides to do . . . . but, you can deal with your anxiety by providing the invitation and seeing her reaction . . . you are a person with anxiety . . . you are dealing with it the best you can at this point in time . . . .we, because I include myself, have to be sensitive, though, to the commitments that other people, even great friends, might have . . . you are a person of character and strength . . . yes, you are in need of support . . . accept what your neighbour can offer . . . . but ask her if you are using too much of her time and energy . . . that you recognize that you are in need, but that you do not want to impose . . . .a frank chit chat will often let both people know of their mutual concern and indicate any boundaries . . . .it takes effort to deal with anxiety and this is really provoking anxiety for you . . . .let us know how things are working out . . . .take care, kc
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Offline unstoppable

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Re: Anxiety getting worse...
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2014, 11:17:32 AM »
Thanks for the reply...

She has mentioned a few times in the past that she is here for me if I want to chat or anything. She even said don't worry if I don't feel like chatting I will let you know, which was nice of her to be honest with me.

I just see the negative side of things. I decided to ring her for a chat but no luck as she was out. I still can't help but obsess about her.
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Offline kconnors

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Re: Anxiety getting worse...
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2014, 01:34:29 PM »
You probably just rely on her so much that this is feeding your anxiety and allowing it to create what-if scenarios that will probably never happen . . . if you are comfortable, may be you and your friend can chat about how you feel dependent on her and together set some guidelines so that you won't misinterpret her actions and cause more anxiety for you . . .let us know how things work out, ok? KC
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Offline unstoppable

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Re: Anxiety getting worse...
« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2014, 05:15:19 AM »
Well I phoned her up and I didn't get chance to talk much as she was getting ready to go out. She just said sorry I haven't phoned I have been out these past two days, I said dont worry about it.   She asked me how I was twice and I said Christ don't be worrying about me. I said I was alright though.  I just found the conversation very awkward or I may have sounded awkward. She says are you feeling better after your little blip I said yea.

anyway she has invited me round for coffee tonight but she said I should be back in time and she is off out for the day.
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Offline kconnors

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Re: Anxiety getting worse...
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2014, 09:48:12 AM »
Good first steps . . . . you are feeling awkward because you are probably unsure of what is going on within yourself . . . coffee is a good time to chat with her . . . explain that you are feeling a bit awkward and tell her why and ask her how she is feeling about the relationship . . . .explain your concerns and ask her if she is okay with your framing of the relationship in terms of "family" or if that makes her uncomfortable . . . in other words, have a conversation being both the talker and the listener . . . then come to whatever understanding that you and she both need to come to and then go on . . . .I am sure that given the opportunity (you asking her) that she will let you know her feelings and then you will know for sure and be able to deal with the anxiety . . . .she may just be busy . . . let us know how things are going . . . kc
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Offline stephpuck

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Re: Anxiety getting worse...
« Reply #8 on: January 31, 2014, 09:56:36 AM »
That is great that you're taking the steps to get into therapy. I wouldn't be here without the therapy I've had for the past 4 years. Relationships can be tricky with anxiety sufferers. I get very anxious about relationships myself. I replay conversations over and over in my mind and imagine worst case scenarios. It will be good for you to get together for coffee. It is possible that she has been really busy. Just know you're not alone in feeling like this :)
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Offline unstoppable

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Re: Anxiety getting worse...
« Reply #9 on: February 01, 2014, 05:26:22 AM »
I wasn't a happy person after talking to my friend last night... it was like she was asking me questions and then answering them for me. ( does that make sense) also she never mentioned about the lovely text message I sent her which really hurt me it's like I don't mean anything to her. she is worried because I am not going out anywhere and she said I should talk to my own mum more and someone else. so it gives me the impression she doesn't want to know. I've told her I don't need anyones help, and that I thought she cared about me but I was wrong blaa blaa.. but not heard anything so, leave it at that.
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