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Author Topic: I hate this! Why am I freaking out??!  (Read 235 times)

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Offline christina10778

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I hate this! Why am I freaking out??!
« on: January 27, 2014, 07:43:45 PM »
I hate having this stupid Anxiety....it is ruining my life!
Everything has been fine for days and today the symptoms are just attacking me soooo bad.

This morning my right leg started shaking out of nowhere....it felt as if my muscles were fatigued and shaky...like when you work out and you work your muscles to the point of fatigue. It was weird. And then I've been having where I seriously can't breathe or take a breath, waves of light nausea, dizziness/"off-balance" feeling, uncontrollable trembling, dull chest pains, my left side went numb and when the feeling came back the muscles in my left side were all sore, I don't remember things that happened or things that I said 5 minutes earlier periodically, having palpitations, and I've been letting out small trickles of tears sporadically throughout the day.

I'm sitting here about to burst into complete tears because my mom is coming to get the internet and I am not going to be able to go to my Anxiety forums if I need to and that terrifies me  :traurig001:

I feel pathetic and stupid.
I hate myself for allowing it all to get this far.
It was regular anxiety at one time and it was like that for years....

But, now I am so super sensitive to stress, drama of any kind, and sadness.
Anything sets me off....any kind of ugliness, anger, or irritation sends me into this.
And on days like today...it just came out of nowhere and then because of the stress, ugliness, etc. it just got worse.
Once it starts, if I'm not given time to calm down and be 100% positive, calm and peaceful for a few hours it just snowballs.
I hate it.....I hate it so much  :(

"I'm worthless and stupid...I'm no good to anyone."
That's how I feel.....maybe I just need to cry and let it all out....
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My Health Anxiety Channel: http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8-5ZQ6ZyRtI4ccjpE_4QwQ/videos

My Blog: http://thoughtsineuphoria.wordpress.com/

1 Peter 5:7 - "casting all of your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you."

Offline ceh1354

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Re: I hate this! Why am I freaking out??!
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2014, 08:40:14 PM »
Hey there. I'm so sorry today is a bad day. I've been watching your youtube channel, and I know you've had this before. You have to keep telling yourself : "I've gone through this before, it's happened many times, it's anxiety and it will pass". I know it stinks while you're going though it.

I hope this will help, this was a post on my social network page today


"Dear Lord, I am so grateful that You are bigger than my concerns or fears. You are bigger than the anxious feelings that won't seem to subside. You are with me (Isaiah 41:10.) You are all-knowing and all-powerful. Because I know all of this to be true, I will trust You and Your perfect plan. I make the choice right now to reject the paralyzing feeling of anxiety so I can walk confidently in the truth of Your assurance. Calm my thoughts, Father, and give me Your peace in this moment. In Jesus's name, amen."

You are not worthless, God loves you, Jesus loves you and so does your family. Don't ever think differently.

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Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devilís schemes. Ephesians 6:11

Offline BeeDot

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Re: I hate this! Why am I freaking out??!
« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2014, 09:13:16 PM »
Hey girl.  I'm so glad you have been continuing to do your YouTube videos.  They are so helpful to those of us out here and I hope they are a form of therapy for you too. 

I understand how you are feeling today.  Sometimes, our anxiety seems to get the best of us and becomes overwhelming.  It makes me sad to hear you call yourself pathetic and stupid etc.  None of us are pathetic or stupid because of our anxiety.  You would never (I hope!) say that to anyone with a physical illness.  We are one and the same.  AND you are actively working to overcome your anxiety.  This is the same as someone taking medicine to try to overcome a physical illness, or go to physical therapy to rehabilitate their injury. 

Through conscious effort every day we are working to overcome.  Yes, we will backslide, yes we will have harder days, but we ARE trying.  You're doing great girl and I"m so happy you come here for support. 

Be strong: )
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For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.  -Author Unknown

Offline christina10778

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Re: I hate this! Why am I freaking out??!
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2014, 04:02:08 PM »
Thank you so much for your responses  :bigsmile:
And thank you so very much for all of the kudos dealing with my videos  :-*

And I know that I have dealt with it all before but it doesn't make the symptoms any less scary.
They are terrifying  :(
Plus, I had no help from anyone around me yesterday....
My husband was in one of his "I hate everyone and everything" moods and my mother gets irritated and ugly with me every time I mention anything about my Health Anxiety.
So, I felt very alone, which made it soooo much worse  :sick0002:
I kept trying to be positive and realistic, but I kept being bombarded with negativity....piles of it, lol

But, I'm feeling better today, so far  :yes:
And will continue to be as positive as possible  :winking0008:
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My Health Anxiety Channel: http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8-5ZQ6ZyRtI4ccjpE_4QwQ/videos

My Blog: http://thoughtsineuphoria.wordpress.com/

1 Peter 5:7 - "casting all of your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you."

Offline BeeDot

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Re: I hate this! Why am I freaking out??!
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2014, 10:48:34 PM »
I definitely hear you.  Even though I've experienced my symptoms hundreds of times, they are still just as scary as the first time I felt them.  I have overcome a few...for example, I know that even though I FEEL short of breath, I'm not really.  I have lived with that feeling for weeks on end and lived to tell the tale.  So, even if it's a scary feeling, I seem to be able to live with it. 

It's tough when the people around you are sick of hearing about your concerns.  My mom is the same way.  My father suffers from mental illness as well and she gets very annoyed with him because she doesn't understand what is going on in his head.

Have you searched for any local support groups?  There is great joy in sitting in a room with like-minded people who remind you that you are never going through this alone.
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For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.  -Author Unknown

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