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Author Topic: My life is ruined.  (Read 721 times)

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Offline Dpunicorn

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My life is ruined.
« on: January 25, 2014, 11:19:20 PM »
Every morning I wake up detached from everything. My arms and legs feel so light and non-existent. I don't feel here anymore. I feel like i don't exist anymore. Feel like a ghost or a zombie.Emotionless.Numbness. Identity is gone. Feel like a whole new person. A stranger. My mind is gone. I just dont know whats happening anymore. Life is a strange thing now. Doesn't seem familiar or beautiful. It's just very odd, confusing and terrifying. I'm a spectator in someone elses fucked up life. So confused, anxious and scared. My life is ruined and I'm only 16. I just cant handle this much stress. I wasnt prepared for this. The stress. The anxiety. The strangeness. The overwhelming mix of emotions have driven me insane. I cant go on anymore.
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Online Cuchculan

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Re: My life is ruined.
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2014, 05:49:17 AM »
Calm yourself down. When anxiety first kicks in this can be how it plays out. A mind that is lost. Feeling spaced out and distant from things. Derealization. It is just another symptom of anxiety that most of us have had at one point in time or another. There is no magic cure for it. With me it simply went away by itself. It can be hard to focus. But hard as it may be this is what you have to try and do. Remain focused. It is very easy to let everything get under your skin. Drive you mad. Make you angry. But that is only feeding the Condition. Making things worse. You have to try and dig that little bit deeper. Even keep a journal about how exactly you are feeling each day. See can you find parts in your life where you know you can make changes. Then begin to work to make those changes happen. Because they won't happen by themselves. If you have not seen a doctor it would be a good idea to see one. Therapy would also be a good idea. We have all been there over the years. At 16 you want to be out enjoying life. Not stuck in with anxiety. So there is a lot worth fighting for.
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Offline RCB127

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Re: My life is ruined.
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2014, 05:36:00 PM »
DISTRACTIONS DISTRACTIONS DISTRACTIONS that is all I can say. I have been through the same thing..You wonder if you even exist and are constantly in a fog. If you keep yourself distracted with things after a while it should go away. The more you lay around in a zombie like state the worse the symptoms will get. You have to get out and do things. Exercise, read or even watch a favorite movie or go see a movie. Anything to take your mind off the feelings that you are getting. The more time you give yourself to sit around the worse you will feel. You need to try to find things to distract you.
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Offline Dpunicorn

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Re: My life is ruined.
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2014, 10:26:55 PM »
Do guys think that isolation can make depersonalization worse and more intense. If so will socializing more make it better?
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Offline chris1234

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Re: My life is ruined.
« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2014, 01:48:17 AM »
Once ur focus shifts away from depersonalization/derealization it will leave, or when the anxiety leaves ..... I notice when I don't talk about it or focus on it it's not there .... Plus if u just let it be there it's really not that much of a big deal ... So yes socializing would help
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Offline worldbeat99

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Re: My life is ruined.
« Reply #5 on: February 01, 2014, 06:07:24 AM »
Dpunicorn, I just want to say that I'm really sorry you're going thru this rough patch.  Especially at such a young age.
In general with anxiety, I find it helps to be with friends.  To do some physical exercise.  And if the seasonal winter darkness
gets to you as it does to me -- a lightbox can be vey helpful.

I will tell you that there was a period of time in my 20s when life was very hard for me.  But it did get better.  Much better.
I'm 55 and probably the happiest I've ever been.  Have hope.  Never stop fighting for your right to be happy.

 ::)
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Offline fruition

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Re: My life is ruined.
« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2014, 07:19:18 PM »
Dear DPunicorn,

I understand how hard it is. I was in a very similar place emotionally and mentally when I was  16. I had severe depression, anxiety and related derealization, and generally felt like everything had gone to hell and it would only get worse.

Three words: hang in there. Even if you can't see it, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Derealization is scary and can make you feel like you've gone off the deep end, but you haven't, and when your stress starts to lighten it will begin to improve. I think socializing (with supportive, healthy friends) will definitely help.

In the meantime, try to nurture yourself. Whatever that means for you- as long as it isn't destructive. I know it's super easy to get into mentally beating yourself up and dwelling in negativity, but that only fuels the fire. Try to treat yourself as you would a close friend. It helps, I promise!

You will get through this and be stronger for it. Let us know how you're doing.
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Offline Dpunicorn

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Re: My life is ruined.
« Reply #7 on: February 03, 2014, 10:49:12 PM »
Thanks for the advice everybody. I really appreciate it. I honestly do not think anything can help. I have tried most things to help and it never does. The dissociation has become unbearable. My sense of identity is completely gone. I'm detached from everything completely. I at my wit's ends. my brain cant handle anymore stress. I know it cant because it has disconnected me from the word completely and I have suicidall thoughts everyday. I feel like crying everyday but I cant. Again appreciate your input on this awful situation that I'm in.
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Online SummerSun41

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Re: My life is ruined.
« Reply #8 on: February 03, 2014, 11:40:42 PM »
First I just want to encourage you to never lose hope! Pain is temporary, no matter how permanent it may feel right now. Lean on your family and friends, be honest with them about how you're feeling so they can lift you up, and I'd recommend socializing. Believe me- I know how insanely hard it is to put yourself out there when you don't feel like it. But try, and I promise it will be worth it. I feel the best when I'm eating dinner or playing games with family and friends. Try to find something funny on the internet and have a laugh- that helps me too.

Are you familiar with this website (http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk/)? If you found AnxietyZone then I'm sure you've found that website too, but I thought I'd mention it. The author of that website has been through the exact same thing you're struggling with and found a way out, and now helps others with their problems. I'd recommend buying his book "At Last A Life"- the reviews are pretty great.

Again, I'm really sorry you're going through this! If I could help more, I would in a heartbeat! Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. "Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise."
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Offline Dpunicorn

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Re: My life is ruined.
« Reply #9 on: February 08, 2014, 03:22:17 AM »
I have read that book and really it didnt help. Nothing and I mean nothing at all helps or even reduces my dissociation even a little bit it just gets worse every week. Since I wrote this post I feel a lot worse and completely disconnected from my body and everything. I just dont see an end to this other than an extreme thing like suiciide which goes through my hollow mind everyday now.
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Offline Potatoes

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Re: My life is ruined.
« Reply #10 on: February 08, 2014, 03:33:49 AM »
Hang in there man, You truck through this until you get to the bottom of what's bothering you.

Please keep this updated.
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Offline Gomubukai

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Re: My life is ruined.
« Reply #11 on: February 08, 2014, 06:34:17 AM »
Have you spoken with your doctor about the feeling? I've heard that a person can develop disassociation disorder. To be honest - I don't know that much about it except that a person feels detached most, or all of the time.

If you haven't, you should definitely speak with your doctor. At the very least thy may be able to point you in a direction that will be able to help you feel better.

Seriously, doctors deal with anxiety and depression on a daily basis. If that is what's contributing to you feeling this way - it's highly treatable.

Hang in there. Keep us posted!   
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