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Author Topic: Fear of sudden death after PTSD  (Read 190 times)

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Offline vivalagloria

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Fear of sudden death after PTSD
« on: January 24, 2014, 05:08:50 PM »
In 2011 I sadly had to see my father develop cancer and deteriorate very quickly, before a firm diagnosis was made. That seemed like a very sudden death, and I subsequently developed a phobia of dying suddenly. This is what started my health anxiety. Gradually, I started feeling better and more "rational" about my health fears.

Last year I got married and moved to a new city with my husband. Shortly after that, a friend of his died suddenly in a bicycle accident. I think this "reminded" my brain of my sudden death phobia, and now it's fresh in my head again, and not only am I afraid that I will die suddenly, I'm afraid that my husband will too. Every night when he falls asleep, I lie awake and if he breathes too quietly I panic that he stopped breathing. Every night when we say goodnight he says "see you in the morning" and in my head I'm secretly thinking "yes, hopefully, if I don't die during the night". And it's really upsetting because I really don't want to think that anymore but I can't seem to stop.

Does anyone have any advice?
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Offline cravenmobile

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Re: Fear of sudden death after PTSD
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2014, 06:42:47 PM »
A small story that helped me with the fear of dying.

I joined the military 10 years ago. While I was on, I was willing to accept anything without worrying about the risk of dying. Sometimes an NCO would say during training, one of us here will be dead within the year, and he wasn't wrong. I had an amazing backing and the idea of death did not bug me. It was only once i was out that I felt fragile.

We all die. People that lived a thousand years ago are all dead. people that lived a hundred years ago are all dead. the absolute majority of every person ever born is dead in a very large way. But then you have to remember how a puppy thinks.

Puppies and dogs are always super excited about everything, because everything to them is cool and new. We fooled ourselves when we started worrying about the future and it took our happiness away. We need to find a way to live in the moment again. And then again I think life would be dull if we didn't at some time expire, how pointless life would be if it were eternal, we could put things off indefinitely. Hug him, love him
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Offline Leo99

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Re: Fear of sudden death after PTSD
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2014, 05:45:29 AM »
I think core problem with anxiety is at one point or another always fear of dying or losing control.
And I agree with cravenmobile, being present in the moment is really important.
However, we seem to fail to do it cus of the fear of the future nonexistence.
Tricky species, us humans...  :winking0008:

Hope you find your peace of mind soon!
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From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Fear of sudden death after PTSD
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2014, 05:46:58 AM »
This is the way PTSD works. You slowly get over the experience of one death. Then later down the road someone else can die and it brings back memories and anxiety about the first death. But I would guess you are a healthy person. Tell yourself that. That there is no reason for you to suddenly die in your sleep. I will admit we all have to go at some point in time. But you can sit around and worry about death until it happens. Then you will look back and think you wasted your life. Just take each day as it comes. Be happy to be alive. I would rather look back in years to come and say ' at least I gave it my best '. Keep a journal if you have to. Reasons why you think death might occur. After a few months look back over the journal. You'll be still alive by then. So you can tell yourself that you had all these worries for no reason at all. Rational thinking. I know it can be hard at times. I think it is the way forward. Reasons why you should die versus reason why you shouldn't die. See which makes more sense on paper.
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Offline marc

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Re: Fear of sudden death after PTSD
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2014, 08:30:42 AM »
I have faced death 3 times in my life. I had two pretty bad head on collisions and in one of them, I thought
I actually saw my life to date cross before my eyes, before the collision. The third was when I was a young man and I was robbed
while working at McDonalds. A man stuck a gun to my temple and he said "you move, your dead". Sudden death is very
scary, but their is really nothing we can do about it. I have read that typically, if you keel over, there is a serious underlying health
issue.
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If you're going through hell, keep going.
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Offline marc

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Re: Fear of sudden death after PTSD
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2014, 08:31:45 AM »
I forgot to mention that in 2012, my mother passed away and in 2013, my father, uncle and a pet
passed away. All gut wrenching.
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If you're going through hell, keep going.
Never, Never, Never, give up.

Offline Lara71

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Re: Fear of sudden death after PTSD
« Reply #6 on: January 25, 2014, 09:39:53 AM »
From late 2011 through most of 2012 I had the most stress I've had in a long time. It started with my director at work getting laid off, followed my the death of my SIL mother who was only 59, a month later my grandmother died, a month after that my neighbor went crazy and the cops took his side, two months after that, I lost my job and ended up working at a job meant for people with high school diplomas (I have two master's degrees), my best friend with lupus is getting worse, followed by my beloved cat dying, then my father's best friend dying and then that same SIL lost her grandfather. Most recently a friend from college died at 42. Mixed in the fact that I live in a city I hate and can't leave until I retire in 15 years. I'm not surprised that my HA has gotten much worse than before. I'm 42 and I've been laid off before, but something about being laid off at 40 and then not being able get a job in my field hit me really hard.

Death always makes you think about yourself dying especially when someone close dies. When my grandmother died it hit me hard even though she was 95. Because she was my last grandparent and I suddenly wasn't young anymore.

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