My condolences to your husband. Loosing someone can be very difficult with coping in life.
Please go to this page off Anxiety Zone:http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,76314.msg433278.html#msg433278
Two posters, Abraham2007 and Insights, responded to Alissa235 on how to get psychiatric help, when you don't have insurance or you don't have the income to cover it. If you read through the thread, both posters provided links to Alissa235 for outside, financial help.
The death of your partner has spurned your addiction to Clonazepam (Klonopin) for psychological relief. Most of us can't handle death well. I can't. The death of a loved one, especially a partner, can be a challenge to cope. As you might know, Clonazepam (Klonopin) is a benzodiazepine, and due to its 18 to 50 hour half-life, its effects don't last for more than a day and a half. To feel additional effect from prolonged anxiety, you would need to take an additional dose of Klonopoin (or another benzodiazepine) for maintenance, or you could take an antidepressant, since the SSRIs are better treated for long term anxiety disorders. Benzodiazepines were meant to be taken as needed for short term anxiety.
If you've been taking Klonopin regularly, like everyday for the past month(s), your body has developed a need for it, which would explain why you need a larger quantity of Klonopin for control. Usually the dosage of Klonopin for an anxiety disorder sufferer, if not taking it daily, but as needed, is .5mg or half a 1mg pill. If your going up to 3/4mg on a daily basis, you need medical supervision of a doctor to monitor your progress, so you can take the medication properly, without feeling you are loosing control.
However, if you need the Clonazepam, because you may feel you're going crazy without it, then you should definitely stay on it. No, it does not make you a junkie, if you need Clonazepam, it just means your body (at this point in time) has adjusted to the medication for relief. However you need a doctor to prescribe you the medication.
Your best route, at least from my point of view, is to stay on the Clonazepam and then get moved to an antidepressant. I would choose Prozac (Fluoxetine) due to its large half life. However weaning off the Clonazepam to an antidepressant, or going on an antidepressant while on Clonazepam, will need the direction of a doctor to:
1) Prescribe you the medications.
2) Monitor your progress.
This may seem hard to hear, but you really need to get access to a doctor. I'm aware there are constraints in your mind, that no medical professional wants to treat you, based on your use of past substances, like opiates, however please know we're dealing with psychotropic medications. The doctors who prescribe them, normally psychiatrists, are accustomed to people with a variety of addictions and psychological problems. Some people have addictions to opiates; some have addiction to cocaine; some have addiction to benzodiazepines due not taking them properly; some have addictions to bad relationships, some have additions to shopping, until broke, and some have addictions to bathrooms, due to fears of embarrassing themselves if they can't handle themselves without a nearby toilet in public.
And none of these types of psychological issues are more of a problem than another, or more of an issue to be ridiculed over another, because each person has a reason on how their psychological patterns formed into that issue. Psychiatrists are trained to not judge each user's psychological symptoms, but to assist that person in managing them.
You may feel your psychological problem with shame, however someone treating you, will not.
Keep strong for your son. He needs you in this life, so you will need to seek professional, medical help to get your anxiety disorder under control. If you pursue the links from the post, as I mentioned earlier, those links could lead you to a better direction from where you are now.