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Author Topic: Super scared and anxious! Please help!  (Read 258 times)

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Offline tamsankaur

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Super scared and anxious! Please help!
« on: January 23, 2014, 02:04:34 PM »
I finally was able to get over my fear of anxiety, but then I gained another fear after reading an essay titles "I Like Guys" (I am a girl). I was reading a personal essay for a class and it was about a guy who liked other guys. Before I continue I just want to let everyone know that I am not in any way against the LGBT group. I don't want to discuss what side I am on because I don't want to start a fight, I just need some help. Now, continuing on to my story I read this essay and the essay was about how this guy who felt so awkward because he liked other guys. He wanted to go to psychologist so that they can give him an electric shock or anything of that sort so he could become normal. No one really knew he was gay for sure, but everyone sensed he was different. He then had to go to camp for a school project, and while at camp he would have to stay with guys, which made him feel very nervous. While at camp he met this other guy who was gay and they had feelings for each other and were about to take their relationship to the next level, but they didn't because they were not willing to accept that they were gay. That was the article and after reading the article I felt very anxious and scared. I don't know why. I just kept having thoughts about "what if I am gay," even though I know I am straight. I have read tons of articles like this one, but they have never affected me. In part, because I have never read such an article when I had anxiety. I have always said that, though I am a heterosexual, I am not biased toward homosexuals, but for some strange reason I have become so fearful that I am not heterosexual, even though deep down inside I know my fear is irrational, I am not able to get it out of my head. I talked about this to one of my friends who said I may have connected to something in the article and that's when I realized that the only part of the article that pulled a chord with me was his desperation to be normal. I wanted to go the psychologists so badly when I started getting anxiety a while back because I wanted to be myself again. I could feel his pain of being so sad about something and being so fearful because I was so sad and fearful about anxiety. I never though anxiety could happen to me and for the longest time couldn't accept that it was a part of me because I did not want to believe I had that side of me because I always felt so different. Can someone please help me? Why am I all of a sudden so scared of being gay when I know that I am straight. Is it because I felt his desperation that scared me? Please help me!
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Offline CarrieAnn

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Re: Super scared and anxious! Please help!
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2014, 03:43:11 PM »
Hi, at one time I had a terrible frightening thought, I told my therapist about it and she told me those kinds of thoughts are known as 'obsessions'. Just because you have this thought doesn't mean it is factual or reality, or will ever happen, it's just a thought. These 'obsessions' are common with anxiety.
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Offline tamsankaur

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Re: Super scared and anxious! Please help!
« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2014, 08:25:49 PM »
Thank you so much for replying! I do understand this is not reality, but for some strange reason I am still unable to move past these thoughts.
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Offline christina10778

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Re: Super scared and anxious! Please help!
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2014, 12:33:06 AM »
I've had the same thoughts.....and I am 100% straight, for sure.
Don't worry  :bigsmile:
There are a lot of people in this forum who have dealt with the same exact thing  :yes:

Smile and relax  :winking0008:

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My Health Anxiety Channel: http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8-5ZQ6ZyRtI4ccjpE_4QwQ/videos

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1 Peter 5:7 - "casting all of your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you."

Offline tamsankaur

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Re: Super scared and anxious! Please help!
« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2014, 12:44:40 AM »
Thank you so much! You have no idea how much this has helped me! I've already talked to my mom and friends about this and they have tole me that I am girliest of girls there can be and I have nothing to worry about, but it gives me more hope to know that there are others who have had these thoughts. If you don't mind, can you please tell me how you got rid of these thoughts/fear?
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Offline Chilly

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Re: Super scared and anxious! Please help!
« Reply #5 on: January 24, 2014, 01:42:46 AM »
I had this trouble for a short time as well, toward the beginning of my intrusive thoughts problem. I went to the gym to get some running done (I was trying to stay busy since I was afraid of being alone at home, and I heard plenty of exercise helps with anxiety). Anyway, while getting myself ready to run, I had a strange thought...What if I'm gay!
    This presented a huge problem. I'm happily married to my wonderful wife and I am a father to a fantastically sweet little girl. If I was all of a sudden gay, I could lose it all in a divorce and so on. I couldn't look at other men at the gym. I must have looked quite sheepish running around the track staring at my feet as I silently endured what was surely the end of my life. Every now and then I would try to look at the women in the gym to convince myself I was still attracted to the opposite sex, but the fear gave little room for attraction. Thankfully, these feelings passed as soon as I realized that I was still very attracted to my wife, but that only happened a couple days later.
    I wish I could say that was the only Intrusive thoughts I had, But sadly, I still have them in a different form. They can seem absolutely real while you are struggling to find your way through this mess we call "anxiety". At least you're not alone :action-smiley-065:
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Offline christina10778

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Re: Super scared and anxious! Please help!
« Reply #6 on: January 24, 2014, 11:08:27 AM »
I'll private message you in a little while on how I got past it.....
I don't want to post it here because I don't want to get anyone upset.
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My Health Anxiety Channel: http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8-5ZQ6ZyRtI4ccjpE_4QwQ/videos

My Blog: http://thoughtsineuphoria.wordpress.com/

1 Peter 5:7 - "casting all of your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you."

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