I was wondering if anyone here could shed a little light for me.
I am under a constant struggle with intrusive thoughts and rumination over the past few months (so much rumination that I wonder if it's "Pure O" sometimes). Typically, I have these thoughts and they cause me a great amount of anxiety and stress. Every now and then, however, these thoughts come and I don't have much of a response at all, which makes me worry about the fact that these thoughts aren't scaring me. It gets to the point where I feel like I don't know who I am at times, because everthing feels "bland", including these intrusive thoughts.
It's hard to describe. Maybe it's emotional numbness? Or could it be the meds causing me to feel "phased out" or "flat"? It almost more comfortable feeling scared than nothing at all.
Does anyone here have any experience with this?