I think I might have depersonalisation disorder, it feels like I'm living a dream.
I keep pinching myself, I feel the pain but it just doesn't seem real. My mind feels disconnected from myself, I'm so scared of dying. I don't have any symptoms of anything, but I still think I'm dying. I just got over my brain tumour scare, but my anxiety still remains 2 weeka later. I'm scared I'm going to go blind even though I don't need glasses.
I feel worse in the morning, sometimes I can't even keep my head up; I feel like a zombie. This also links back to my brain tumour idea, as symptoms are more common in the morning. I keep on thinking that maybe someone poinsned me as a child or something? I just feel so weird. But after lunch I usually feel better and more “normal” (even though I don't know what normal feels like yet in about 10 years). I can't speak properly. When I talk, it just doesn't feel right. I can't hear my own voice, words just flow out my mouth and I have no control. I can't speak English properly either. I'm feel really self-conscious in the mornings, if I were to talk to someone in the morning I feel much more awkward and seeing myself from someone else's view. I keep feeling like at some moments I'm going to wake up, to my real self, in a different but perfect world lying in a bed and think “wow, that was a long dream...” Am I even writing this right now? Are people just made up and I'm dreaming my life? Is everyone else really living?! Help me I'm going insane?!