I can relate to the sensations you describe in response to loud noises, or just noise in general, though I'm not quite sure exactly when, why, or how it started. Finding ways to control the level and the type of sound I hear, to some degree, has been helpful. Minor though this may sound, wearing earplugs has actually helped me quite a lot, particularly in terms of sleeping. It is a very peaceful sensation to be able to wake up in relative silence; I generally get a better night's sleep, and having external sounds drowned out or at least muted first thing in the morning gives me more of a chance to adjust and mentally stabalize myself ahead of a stressful day. Of course, this isn't practical in all situations, particularly if you have to be up at a certain time and can't afford to oversleep.
Listening to music or any audio through earbud-style headphones helps me too. Earbuds have the effect of blocking out external sound to some extent as well, so it can be a more immersive experience overall.
I think these (relatively minor) things help me because they allow me to feel some control over the sound I'm hearing, whether it's something I'm familiar with or just complete silence. Consistency, or at least predictabiliy, in the volume level makes for a less jarring experience. I know a lot of people who say that they will leave the TV on throughout the day just for the sake of "background noise," which they seem to find comforting, but abrupt changes in the volume level (a commercial being louder than the show, for instance) are very noticeable and stressful for people like us.
I'm very sorry to hear about all the stress that your family & boyfriend are putting you through, and I can't help but wonder if this might have anything to do with these newer symptoms you describe. You mentioned that this really started about three months ago, was there a specific event or series of events around that time that might have triggered this? Come to think of it, I remember first experiencing these symptoms around the time my parents were threatening to get divorced, (obviously not as serious a situation as what you're going through). It's possible that with all of the additional stress a person is under when a family situation is in jeopardy, they may just crave those few, precious moments of peace & quiet more strongly, and become anxious when anything threatens to take that away.