hi everyone out there in anxietyzone!!
I've been a member for a little while now and think its time I introduced myself :)
Im a 23yo female with an amazing partner and a super amazing little 3 year old. I have a pretty good life through other peoples eyes, but unfortunaly, having anxiety and panic has taken a bit of the zest out of life for the moment.
I am quite a loud and outgoing person, very sociable ect ect blah blah...until about a year ago when I suffered my first panic attack where, like most, i thought i was having a heart attack and an ambulance was called. From that moment on, I suffered attacks nearly everyday for i can even remember how long. I took lorazapam to help with the panic at work and did start to get a handle on it (seeing a therapist, reading up and studying panic and the effects it has on the body, reading forums, meditation, yoga ect). I developed health anxiety and it started with my heart, thats about as far as it when, id have thoughts about other things but they kind of just passed, my heart was the one that had a hold on me for a while, I had ECGs/Blood test ect done (more than once) and after weraing a holter monitor for a week finally accepted that all was well. I was about nearly a year into it and the good days were out numbering the bad days, it was actually weird to feel happy after feeling so anxious and crap for so long haha. So yeah there I was getting better when I witnessed a car accident which i had to call the ambulance for. The guy had had a seizure (he was fine that god!!) but you see, being the worryer that i was i got the thought into my head "OMG thats GOING to happen to me!!!
since then i've been worried that at any moment im just going to have a seizure, i freak myself out over it even though i have no history, or anything to even point to epilepsy/seizures (apart from the usual feelings i get while in 'panic mode') I actually have written a post about this so Im not going to flitter on anymore about it - but as soon as i get a funny feeling i feel like its one coming on...then i seek reasurance which probably dosent help. just fuels the fire. and also google, i hate google, it got the better of me so i hold back from googling anymore.
Im getting there each day with my thoughts, some days are good, some are bad, but my family and friends have noticed a smile return that they haven't seen for a while so i'll take that as progress and i am strating to finally accept everything thats happening - that its not going to kill me (the panic/the feelings of panic) and try to just 'live life and go with it' like i used to. i know il get there one day
so yeah thats me in a nutshell, kind of haha, it would take a very long post for me to explain it all in detail but yeah.
good luck in your journeys everybody