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Author Topic: Starting to thing i will never feel "normal" again (venting)  (Read 312 times)

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Offline Kindra11

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Starting to thing i will never feel "normal" again (venting)
« on: January 20, 2014, 04:52:17 PM »
This is by far the longest lasting bout of anxiety I have ever had. The symptoms are enough to drive me mad and I feel like I can't win :( it's really starting to take a toll on me mentally and emotionally. It seems as tho I get one symptom under control and 2 new ones pop up. I can't stand the tight neck muscles that make my arms hurt, I hate the chest tickle and I really can't stand feeling like I'm breathing through a straw half the time. My bouts of anxiety usually last a couple of months and then I'm good for a year, I'm now on month 7 of constant daytime anxiety that just won't let up and I'm so frustrated :( I think the issue is that my best friend passed away 2 years ago and realistically I have not dealt with it, I don't want to deal with it and I have no idea how to come to terms with hanging out with your friend one day and the next day they pass away suddenly in bed.... Sorry for the rant/ vent, just needed to say this to someone and get it out of my head
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Offline marc

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Re: Starting to thing i will never feel "normal" again (venting)
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2014, 04:56:17 PM »
Anxiety can be a tough cookie, but you can beat it with persistence and whatever help you
need such as therapy, medication, self help, etc. The key is to never give up.
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If you're going through hell, keep going.
Never, Never, Never, give up.

Offline Kindra11

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Re: Starting to thing i will never feel "normal" again (venting)
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2014, 06:16:52 PM »
Thank you for replying. I will never give up! I refuse to let anxiety win  :winking0008:
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Offline michelle360

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Re: Starting to thing i will never feel "normal" again (venting)
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2014, 07:57:27 PM »
Grief is different for everyone. You are dealing with it by going through it. Do you feel that this grief is the core of your anxiety? If so, perhaps it's time to speak to a therapist which would be greatly beneficial either way. I'm sorry to hear about your friend, but try to think about what they would want for you.
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Offline Kindra11

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Re: Starting to thing i will never feel "normal" again (venting)
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2014, 11:03:41 PM »
I'm sure it's the core of it, my anxiety started when I was 17 and lost 2 friends in car accidents, life was carefree until then, I went through another major bout when my uncle committed ***** and was doing fairly well until my friend passed away. I have been helping her husband raise their 12 year old daughter since then. I have gone to counselling for grief and anxiety combined before and have tried all the coping behaviours I've learned but I just don't seem to be able to pick myself up this time... I just feel empty and broken 90% of the time.... And of course like I'm dying of 8000 mysterious illnesses lol. Thank you for your comment Michelle :)
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Offline michelle360

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Re: Starting to thing i will never feel "normal" again (venting)
« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2014, 01:28:04 AM »
It sounds like you have been through a lot at a relatively young age. I'm sorry. Death is a hard thing to face for most of us here. It led me down a road of anxiety and then depression myself. I didn't realize it at the the time but I was depressed. The thoughts I was having were not "me". They were hopeless and dark. There is always light somewhere though. Antidepressants worked for me to be honest and I am to the point now where I will start to wean off of them. I feel about 90% of my "normal" self. But this may be my new normal. Major losses change you but it doesn't have to be for the worst. It helps to find something to look forward to - anything. It you can't muster that it may be time to try medication. If you still can, latch onto that something and imagine yourself doing it until you do it. Then move on to the next thing. When I have lost someone close to me I always think of them when I am doing the things I looked forward to doing. Like somehow I brought them along with me to do wonderful things. Not to sit in a room crying and waxing on about the meaning of life. I go about the business of living. If only for them. For some reason it helps.
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