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Author Topic: Do I scare my own family?  (Read 447 times)

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Offline XOTWOD

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Do I scare my own family?
« on: January 20, 2014, 02:02:45 PM »
So, my family are not really the type to talk to each other about our feelings. So my sister told me that my dad thinks I am depressed. So, I lied to my sister and said 'How pathetic is that? I'm not depressed'. I only did this because she is my younger sister and I am the one who really has brought her up. I told her to tell my dad to talk to me. But she said that he is apparently too scared to talk to me, but he didn't exactly explain why. I mean, I know can be really irritable and I have a few problems with my anger; but how can my own dad be afraid to talk to me? Me and my dad used to be very close when I was younger, but we haven't got along for about 6 years. I suppose maybe I subconsciously blame him for what his father did to me as a child; despite my memory of this being very vague. My sister has told me that even my mum has said that she thinks I'm depressed. So if both of my parents think this, why don't they talk to me, because no matter how hard I try, I cannot find the words to tell anyone how I really feel. It's like an invisible barrier that stops me from talking about my feelings and this is supposed to be the year that I sort out my messed up life.

Everything and everyone around me is changing and moving on with their lives. And I am stuck.
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Do I scare my own family?
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2014, 06:41:26 AM »
Fathers talking to daughters about certain things can be a bit awkward for the father. Hence he probably wanted a female to talk to you. It is not that he doesn't respect you or is afraid of you in the way you imagine. It would be much like asking him to talk to you about sex. Something he would rather leave to a female member of the family. Thinking you might feel more comfortable talking to a female. This is just the impression I get. I do think he is concerned. He wants to help. But you have lied about it now. I did mention this in another of your posts. You have to start been honest. To get the help that you need.
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Offline meowmint

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Re: Do I scare my own family?
« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2014, 12:25:51 PM »
This sounds similar to my situation with my family. My family seems concerned sometimes, and I know they hear me crying, but they never talk to me because they are afraid of how Ill respond (thinking Ill snap at them). Like Cuchculan said you need to start being honest, if they think you're depressed but then deny it what are they to think? They'll probably step back even more. I have difficult speaking when I go through bad times and I tend to shut down, but Ive had a little succes writing things down. Maybe you can write (through text message/email/letter) whats going on with you and give it to your father? Tell him what you need from him too, tell him that you do want him to ask you whats going on. He may be afraid to cross that line and make you feel uncomfortable or like he's intruding.
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