So, this adventure I have been on with this relentless thing called anxiety has been going on for the better of 7 years now. But, I have somehow gotten out of it's grips, at least for now.
I had been so far away from myself for so long, was stuck in bewilderment from my physical symptoms on a daily basis, that I became a shell of my former self. Actually, forgetting the person I was.
As I said I have been feeling less anxious lately, and because of feeling less anxious I had been having these moments of 'oh my goodness! I feel like my old self!' for a couple of days now. And it feels strange because I have not felt this way for literally years. It is a wonderful feeling! The person I am without anxiety is happy, creative, friendly, optimistic, strong, outgoing, calm. Anxiety took all those things away, and replaced them with physical symptoms that I could not lose focus of no matter how I tried.
That being said, for what ever it's worth, to anyone suffering from anxiety--it is possible to break free from it's clutches. I was really. really bad, suffering on a daily basis, and now I am better. The way to getting better is you have to break the cycle. And the way to do that is to not let the fear stifle you. The old saying 'frozen with fear' is a good example---things that are frozen are still, unmovable. But when you carry on despite having fear you can get yourself to see the fear doesn't exist as great as it does in your mind. If you are afraid to step outside your front door, do it anyway so you can prove to yourself nothing bad will happen. If you are afraid to eat out in a restaurant, do it anyway just have a few bites if that is what it takes.
So, that is how I found my way back to moments of 'normal', I hope you can find your way back too :)