I just went through a very severe case of anxiety, panic attacks, and depression with intrusive/negative thoughts. There were days when I felt overwhelmed by the slightest responsibility. Just seeing a single, dirty fork in the kitchen sink could put me over the edge. For whatever reason, death doesn't seem to bother me. Part of that might be the fact that I'm 60 years old, and feel like I have already led a full life (not that I don't hope for a few more years before my time).
There is much that you can do to alleviate your fears. Medication and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can most certainly help. I was started on a new anti-depressant, Celexa, some 6-7 weeks ago, and I am doing so much better. I am also scheduled to begin CBT in the next two weeks. I'm looking forward to doing that. I understand that CBT can be just as effective as medication, for many people.
It's not easy to do, but set a course, and then take action. You may consider seeing a psychiatrist. I have one, and she is in charge of my mental health care. She has provided me with a diagnosis, can prescribe medication, and has given me a treatment plan. Seeing a therapist is also beneficial. They can teach you CBT, how to deal with your fears.
The very best to you, Higha!... Chuck