Hey everyone. I was searching the web and freaking myself out again. For some bizarre reason, my OCD is kicking my butt right now.
I used to suffer horribly with GAD/OCD in college. This lead to most of the compulsions going away, but opened the door for Pure-O. I have had it all. Fear of disease. Fear of everything. Panic attacks. Derealization (the scary one). Fear of schizophrenia. I am now 41 and had no real anxiety/OCD for many years. Well, OCD was always there, but I was able to control it 99% of the time. A rare panic attack. But, no derealization.
My stress level has gone up. Money stress. Work stress. Kids. Etc. For the last few days I am miserable!
I am borderline panicking. Derealization has kicked in and I am feeling faint/lightheaded. I can't relax. I am worrying about losing my mind, going crazy, having some disease, etc. What the heck!? I have had such control over this for so long and 3 weeks ago I was completely relaxed, happy, and able to shake off intrusive thoughts no matter how whacky. Now I am bothered and can't focus.
I dunno. I guess I was hoping for some words of wisdom. I am not on any meds for OCD and I am not able to see my old counselor for a couple of weeks. I have kids and need to be "dad," and not some overly-worried lightheaded hypochondriac! This sucks.
I KNOW I have to get a grip and knock this down before I let the fears control me and then this episode will last awhile. At 41, I have been thru this a long time. The nasty thing about anxiety and OCD is that it does not matter that I have not lost it in 25+ years of worrying. OCD tells me "this time is different." Ahhh! I hate this so much.