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Author Topic: New here. Long time OCD, Pure-O, Anxiety, etc. Symptoms back.  (Read 819 times)

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Offline bender73

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New here. Long time OCD, Pure-O, Anxiety, etc. Symptoms back.
« on: January 11, 2014, 10:02:53 PM »
Hey everyone.  I was searching the web and freaking myself out again.  For some bizarre reason, my OCD is kicking my butt right now.

I used to suffer horribly with GAD/OCD in college.  This lead to most of the compulsions going away, but opened the door for Pure-O.  I have had it all.  Fear of disease.  Fear of everything.  Panic attacks.  Derealization (the scary one).  Fear of schizophrenia.  I am now 41 and had no real anxiety/OCD for many years.  Well, OCD was always there, but I was able to control it 99% of the time.  A rare panic attack.  But, no derealization.

My stress level has gone up.  Money stress.  Work stress.  Kids.  Etc.  For the last few days I am miserable!

I am borderline panicking.  Derealization has kicked in and I am feeling faint/lightheaded.  I can't relax.  I am worrying about losing my mind, going crazy, having some disease, etc.  What the heck!?  I have had such control over this for so long and 3 weeks ago I was completely relaxed, happy, and able to shake off intrusive thoughts no matter how whacky.  Now I am bothered and can't focus.

I dunno.  I guess I was hoping for some words of wisdom.  I am not on any meds for OCD and I am not able to see my old counselor for a couple of weeks.  I have kids and need to be "dad," and not some overly-worried lightheaded hypochondriac!  This sucks.

I KNOW I have to get a grip and knock this down before I let the fears control me and then this episode will last awhile.  At 41, I have been thru this a long time.  The nasty thing about anxiety and OCD is that it does not matter that I have not lost it in 25+ years of worrying.  OCD tells me "this time is different."  Ahhh!  I hate this so much. :fragend005:
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Offline Walnut

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Re: New here. Long time OCD, Pure-O, Anxiety, etc. Symptoms back.
« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2014, 04:14:14 PM »
I know how you feel. I have had it all. I have been off meds for 6-7 years now. I realized medicine or not I was going to have anxiety. Ive had anxiety since as far back as I can remember. I just turned 33.  2010-2013 wasnt too bad for me. I was able to do a little more than normal. Going places etc. Then early 2013 alot of stressors came up and somehow I spiraled out of control and have gotten progressively worse. I have had intrusive thoughts before. One here, one there. Lately though I have had them constantly for several months. I can barely get 2 miles from home and the thoughts get worse. Fear of losing control, feeling trapped in traffic, fear of being pulled over by the police if Im trying to get home. Im like you. If I was gonna go crazy it would have already happened. Its like once I beat one type of anxiety it finds a new way to sneak back in. I have kids too and I need to be dad but this stuff has me sidelined. I keep trying not to get comfortable at home and makes myself get out and go places and experience the symptoms and prove to myself that these are just OCD thoughts and that I am overreacting to them and overly sensitive to the thoughts. Ive read a few books and tried to apply the techniques but Im just  not making progress. I started back taking Klonopin as needed to help me gain an edge over the physical feelings of anxiety and fight back.  If you havent read them already Id like to recommend Brain Lock by Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz. Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts, (I forget the author), even Claire Weekes  book Hope and Help for your Nerves mentions intrusive thoughts. Back several years ago when I was having intrusive thoughts I read a free article in ezine by Joe Barry McDonagh called How to Eliminate Intrusive Thoughts. I used that article to overcome the thoughts back then but no luck this time.
I hope you find some relief soon. I know how devastating this can be.
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I am horrible about forgetting which threads I have replied to. If you dont get a reply back from me feel free to message me.

My screen name used to be "Nutty" Ive been a member since 2008. I forgot what email I used back then so I cant login to my old name.

Offline ginaree

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Re: New here. Long time OCD, Pure-O, Anxiety, etc. Symptoms back.
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2014, 10:58:59 AM »
I just found that article and found it helpful...I saved it for later. Thank you!
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