My husband has been amazingly supportive, he's really been helping me through this. My mom has offered to come help with the kids before, but she's a caregiver for a gentleman with lung disease so she'd really have to organize arrangements to do so, and if I was home I'd still feel the need to be with them...I couldn't really fully disengage.
The suicidal thoughts are nearly gone, so that's a plus. I'm just trying to ride out the storm. I know the worst of it is hormonal, I get heightened anxiety and irritability every single time around this month. The difference is I've never had such severe depressive symptoms. Ever. And even knowing that it "Should" clear up in a few days, I feel like I've lost ground in my treatment. Haven't touched meditation. my house is a mess. Loss of appetite, trouble sleeping. It's like I'm almost back to square one even though I'm on the lexapro. And that scares me.
Anyway, I did put in a followup call to my psychiatrist office, we'll see how things go in a few days once this hormonal shift passes. I'm hoping the birth control pills reign things in, if not I may indeed need a med adjustment :/
Work has been busy today, which at least gives me a sense of purpose and was helping keep my mind off things for awhile.