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Author Topic: This is going wild  (Read 247 times)

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Offline van151

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This is going wild
« on: January 09, 2014, 07:44:52 PM »
I had anxiety mostly about my health, I'm scared of having cancer or any deadly disease. For the past several years my fears is moving from one part of my body to another, first it was lung cancer that I afraid of, after I can manage it and have a beautiful life for several months then it was heart attack, then after that stomach of colon cancer, then mouth, throat, tongue cancer that makes me scared.

Now it seems I can control my anxiety which often triggered by my fear of tongue cancer  but after that my brain is looking something to worry about, my anxiety are moving to several places in my body, lung, stomach, throat again. Not just about health, for several times I was scared about my financial income, my job, my businesses, my dissertation. Worried about my 4 years old son, my wife. It seems my brain always wanted to be in anxiety mode. The good news is right now I still able to manage it and keep it under control and not coming into full blow anxiety attack.

I also experiences a bad vision in my head, like the vision of kicking my wife head, throwing my son, etc...I'm scared of my self now...Right now I still control it, I know that the vision is wrong and I won't do it...but sometimes it makes me scared and thinking what is wrong with me now...are this getting more severe then I thought...am I going to be crazy, and then do something horrible to my family...like in the news....
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: This is going wild
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2014, 05:34:43 AM »
So health anxiety with a touch of intrusive thoughts. Out of all the fears of illness you ever had, just stop and think for one second. You are still here. You are healthy. You never had any of these things. Learn from that. That the mind can play tricks on you. Make you think you have these things. When really you don't. If it ever happens again stop yourself and say ' I have been here before and it was just my mind playing tricks on me '. Take control of the situation.

As for the intrusive thoughts. Well that is all they are. I believe you love your wife and son and would never ever harm them. Probably one of your worst fears is that harm would ever come to them. So that fear has twisted itself into an intrusive thought. Just to make it worse it shows you carrying out the act. So your worse fear is been played over in your head with you doing the hurting. It can be frightening. I don't think you would ever do such a thing. Not sure if you are getting help. If not it is something you should look in to. There is always loads of help out there.
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Offline Chilly

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Re: This is going wild
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2014, 11:31:00 PM »
If it helps, just know that you're not alone. I've been suffering a lot with intrusive thoughts as well, and they are similar to yours. I've never been as afraid of anything in this world as much as I am afraid of myself for the past 6 months (I don't want to end up in one of "those" news stories either). Thankfully, I've been able to see a good therapist to help me gain some insight, and Meds have helped take the edge off the anxiety/depression. You aren't crazy, it's part of the anxiety. According to most everything I have researched and everything my therapist has told me, Intrusive thoughts about violence are pretty common among anxiety and depression sufferers.
It's a tough battle, but you can make it through. :happy0151:
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Offline van151

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Re: This is going wild
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2014, 10:21:54 AM »
Thank you, glad to hear that I'm not alone and its just my anxiety. I also talk about it with my therapist and she said it's nothing to worry about, it's just a thought not a halucination. I do love my family and I think you're right, it's because I don't want something bad happen to them and my thought twisted it.
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