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Author Topic: Is it anxiety or is it real?  (Read 192 times)

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Offline lexie2006

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Is it anxiety or is it real?
« on: January 09, 2014, 01:15:59 PM »
Well i wrote a post called nobody cares y try and forgot yo put the question every year i feel i get a reminder that noone likes me because me and my husband share birthday months my birthday is 1 week from his today is his day and I'm happy for him n love him but i do it big for him each year and aa week later my bday comes and noone says a thing not even a happy birthday i feel selfush is  for feeling tishis way so wat I'm saying is it anxiety and irrational thinking that noone likes me.or is it really unfair
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Online Cuchculan

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Re: Is it anxiety or is it real?
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2014, 01:36:15 PM »
I have a brother who never remembers my birthday. We are even talking the big birthday, 21st, 30th, 40th. Not so much as a card or a happy birthday. Some people are like this. They never let you forget their birthday. It would be like a big sin if you ever did. The same can be said for Christmas. If he ever even said Happy Christmas to me I would probably die of shock.  :laugh3: But I know what he is like. I have always known this. Fair to say that I accept him for who he is. He is married with kids. But you know not to expect anything from him. He may surprise me some year. But it used to anger my late father. Never angered me at all. Oddly up until my Nephews and Nieces were born my birthday was the only one in the middle of the year. The rest were all close together. I remember one year not one family member remembered my birthday. I didn't say a word. My mother copped on late in the day and felt bad about it. Then there was my mother and father and myself in the family home. So I certainly know what it can be like to be forgotten. I say forgotten rather than ignored in my case. Then the miracle happened. A Nephew was born with a birthday the same week as mine. Kind of made me laugh. His father was always the one brother who always remembered birthdays as a rule. Kind of split in this house. One who wouldn't so much as wish you a happy birthday and one who would always appear over with a cake and a card. Now in your case if you want to make something out of it you could always bring up the topic of presents. As both your birthdays are close you could say ' do we spend small on each other this year or what '? By way of saying ' Don't forget my birthday is just after yours '. Even tell some friends as both your birthdays are so close you are thinking that maybe you will have one day that both of you will celebrate both of your birthdays. Just an idea. That way neither of you will ever feel left out. Pick a date between both birthdays and use that as the date for both of you. Husband and wife together. Seems like a smart thing to try out. But I hear you loud and clear about been forgotten. Happens to me about every year. By the one brother. But it never bothers me. We still get on great. Is just his ways. I won't hold them against him. Life is too short for that.
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Offline CarrieAnn

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Re: Is it anxiety or is it real?
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2014, 01:59:55 PM »
Hi, now this I can most definitely relate to. My husband is not big on remembering my birthday, especially when we were first married which was 23 years ago. Granted, we got married young, he was 24 and I was 20. So, now when I look back I just chalk it up to youth. It used to bother me, no birthday gift, no Valentine etc., but now I don't care so much because I know he doesn't do it on purpose, and I know he loves me regardless. In recent years I have bought or made my own cake, or bought myself a new pair of shoes or whatever, because I figure it's my birthday so I treat myself. And I don't really want a big to-do so it's fine with me if I only get a card from him.

I'm not sure if it is anxiety or just feeling left out or forgotten, which like I said, I definitely have been there before, so I know how you feel.

My advice is when your birthday rolls around do something special for yourself, even if others forget, you'll have a good day regardless :)
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Offline lexie2006

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Re: Is it anxiety or is it real?
« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2014, 02:09:24 PM »
Thank you for your advice its like its not just him i got a cake this year that said happy birthday mr aand mrs harley his friends called it gay and said he should wipeoff the. part that had my name they it so hard to understand how to react and they called me selfish and now i feel so bad but i don't ask anybody for anything i feel bad about my bday coming up or for even thinking about my bday on his birthday. i feel really selfish and resentful
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Offline CarrieAnn

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Re: Is it anxiety or is it real?
« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2014, 02:59:20 PM »
Well, since you two share a birthday so close together, there is absolutely nothing wrong with one cake. And you are husband and wife, so there was nothing wrong with putting Mr. & Mrs. on the cake. I wouldn't question any of that at all. What I do find questionably is, what kind of friends say the sort of things his friends said.

I'm not trying to make a big deal out of what they said, but that really wasn't a very nice or polite thing to say. You said your husband is 23, if his friends are of the same age, I would tell you not to make a big deal out of it---it's another one of those situations where you can just chalk it up to youth. Don't be offended at all, words are just words :)
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Offline lexie2006

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Re: Is it anxiety or is it real?
« Reply #5 on: January 09, 2014, 05:28:53 PM »
Thanx ur absolutely right i don't feel as bad i think its a cite cake we are childhood sweetheart and we are both 23 as of next week y not celebrate together and his friends a complete idiot excuse my language gotta stop letting people get to me
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