Holy crap you are in a bad situation. You need to leave that POS and don't get involved with anyone else until you yourself are strong and get some type of education. If you put up with that behavior than you are a fool. I think he is breaking you down or something, try to find a woman's support group and leave that idiot you are with and if that is your pattern (falling into bad relationships) than you need to stay single forever and get yourself an education. You are stronger than you think.