Originally from Latvia, currently living in Montreal, Canada, I've had social anxiety, chronic depression & insomnia for as long as I can remember, with a steep spike in the amount of panic attacks eversince I moved here (3 years now), I guess it's something with the climate, though as similar it is to my homeland, it gets to me, maybe it's the food, I don't know. I tried CCBT, meditation & medication to get rid of these things, but as most people who are inherently depressed, I lack motivation, persistence & belief to go through with these things & I eventually gave up. If I didn't procrastinate all the time I'd probably be over this whole mess & could come to you as an example to follow, but that is sadly not the case. However, I've lived with these things for so long I've become confident in my emotions & I can find meaning in them, negative as they may be, they're mine to possess & every living thing has to suffer in order to become more complete, even in whine making, you're supposed to give the vines a bit less than they need, because when they suffer, they produce better fruit. I'm a chaotic pragmatist by nature, so apologies for the rather sporadic jumping of topics & such, I just like to ramble a lot & who knows, maybe some of you enjoy reading this scribbled mess. Anyways, I'm 21 years old & separated from all my friends due to insufferable economic state of my country (that actually might be a reason for the panic attacks, I have no one to turn to now, alas I'm here), but right now as I stand, I see myself at the very bottom. However, this doesn't concern me, rather, it makes me hopeful for my future, because from this point on, there's no other way but up & I can see myself overcoming these struggles & I'm feeling pretty positive at the moment, I'm thankful for all the suffering I've experienced as it makes me a lot more empathetic & altruistic human being, which is now my drive to work on overcoming myself, so I can help others the way I want to, but can't due to my own self-limiting belief systems. I've never thought of life being fair or that I deserve something from it, so I have no intention of pointing fingers & demanding for someone or something to rid me of all these problems, I'm in this alone & if I want to get over it, I have to start relying on myself & cultivate proper emotional intelligence by ignoring my base id desires & looking at the things from a perspective of whether or not they aid me in my journey, as opposed to whether or not they make me feel better for the moment I'm currently in. I hope you enjoyed my little rant & I'll always be here to try & help in any way I can & won't hesitate to ask for guidance should I need any. Have a nice day!