I struggle with social anxiety, chronic depression & intense insomnia, though most of the time I can deal with it & still live a fulfilling life, when winter comes, it just transforms into this incredible fatigue, stress & weakness to the point where my whole daily routine is nothing but 1 big panic attack. In summer, it usually takes around an hour or 2 to fall asleep, but when winter comes I can't fall asleep before 6am, even if I go to bed at 10 pm, then I have to go to my french courses, where, no matter how much sleep I've had, I always feel very tired, have a racy heart, feel like I'm going to pass out or just stop existing every 5 minutes which completely throws any attempt to concentrate out the window, I have to keep leaving the class every 10 minutes to go to the bathroom, just to look at the mirror & try to convince myself that everything is ok & that I'm not going to die. When I'm trying to fall asleep, or when I'm not at school, I get this persistent pressure in my neck, it feels like my veins are blocked, it doesn't hurt, it's like an intense stiffness around the back of my head & neck & I often feel an odd pressure & throbbing in the right side of my head, from the neck going up to the temple. Sometimes when I don't move at all for a while in an attempt to fall asleep, a side of my brain feels like it's being squeezed, like it's about to stop working which makes me bolt up & feel even more stressful than before.
None of these things, however, happen during the summer, or any other season, so I don't understand what it is. I've tried exercising more to maybe make my heart work better & get rid of the stress that way, but that just makes my neck feel even stiffer. I tried medication like citalopram & remiron, which I used for more than 6 months, but seeing that it had absolutely no effect on me I stopped using them & no longer trust that pills can do me any good.
I don't know how much longer I can go on knowing that 6 months out of a year I'm completely miserable, so I turn to you in hopes that you can help me resolve this issue.