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Author Topic: Can't find myself again scared of everything and feel lonely  (Read 259 times)

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Offline naturallyderived

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Can't find myself again scared of everything and feel lonely
« on: January 06, 2014, 08:59:18 PM »
Hi, I'm new to this but  running out of options. I have been dealing with mild anxiety since 2008 when I first visited the er for a panic attack. Not knowing what it was at the time I thought I was going to die the entire way to the hospital. After less than a month the anxiety and panic subsided until 3 months ago when I was I'm a car accident.  No one was injured but since then, my anxiety has spiraled out of control.  I was prescribed . 5 mg of klonpin as needed and it does help sometimes. I am also seeing a counselor as my insurance doesn't cover any mental health services. I am now at a breaking point and feel like my whole life is spiraling out of control. I can't concentrate on anything or do things that I used to love. I feel like I'm going to die 24/7 or pass out. My panic attacks have gotten even more severe within the past two weeks and I can't manage to get through a whole day without freaking out. Going to the doctor tomorrow to be put on some sort of anti depressant which I'm hoping helps. I losing the view of the light at the end of this hellish tunnel and don't know what to do anymore.  I get dizzy and feel like I'm going to faint, my legs get wobbly and then panic ensues. I have a loving family and support system but no one understands what I'm going through and no matter how hard I try I feel like there is no end to this. I don't know what to do with myself or how to make myself calm down. I have tried nearly everything.  I don't know what to do any more to help myself and I just want to feel better and enjoy life again. Any input would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I'm absolutely losing it.
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Offline laineymom

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Re: Can't find myself again scared of everything and feel lonely
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2014, 08:11:11 AM »
Hi!  I am sorry you are struggling right now. I know how you feel and have been where you are- just recently. It's amazing how these things come on and take over so quickly. You seem to be doing the right things though and if you go on meds and stick it out, you will start to feel better. I know it is exhausting and feels hopeless right now, but if you can just get through the next few weeks until your meds start to kick in, you will feel more normal again. Until then, don't be afraid to take your kloponin. I think that was my biggest mistake this time- not taking my benzo as much as I needed it (because I was so afraid of getting addicted) so I let my anxiety get out of control and I suffered more than I needed to. I am now only on a regular antidepressant/antianxiety med and don't take anything else. It's unfortunate that your insurance doesn't cover therapy though, because that definitely is another helpful tool to get through this. There are places that offer free services, have you looked into that? Feel free to message me anytime if you need to vent or ask questions or anything. The support you will get here will be like no other because we all are going through similar things. Hang in there, you're not alone and you can do this!
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Offline kconnors

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Re: Can't find myself again scared of everything and feel lonely
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2014, 08:19:54 AM »
Hi . . . glad you came by and thank you for sharing your experiences . . . .from personal experiences, you are experiencing many symptoms that are common to people with anxiety . . . I suspect, but I am not a med professional, that your car accident triggered the panic / anxiety . . . a question for you:  do you know what triggered your original panic attack in 2008? Sometimes, and again from personal experience, when the original trigger is not resolved, it sits in the background waiting for another event to come along and it gets triggered again . . . a car accident would trigger health anxieties, etc. and the feeling of imminent danger, etc. It appears that your fight or flight response is stuck in fight and you have yet to be able to tone down the flow of adrenaline into your system . . . all of this is fine to say, but the issue is how to manage it . . .

You are seeing a counselor who, I am assuming from what you wrote, is not specially trained in dealing with a person with anxiety. Who prescribed your klonpin? You are planning to return to your doctor for anti-depressants? Perhaps there is some way that you could be referred to a trained professional in mental health who has a sliding fee scale because you need to deal not only with the symptoms but also with your triggers. . .. can you contact a mental health unit in your city for referral or a mental health advocacy group to join a support group in your community?

It is one thing to help yourself which is how the recovery process must work; but for many of us we need a bridge between high continuous anxiety and a breathing space when we can start to recover . . . .it is great that you have a loving family, but it is difficult at times for folks who have never experienced anxiety in a prolonged episode to understand that managing anxiety is not simply "thinking of something else" . . .  and, quite frankly, they probably feel frustrated that they cannot do something to help so they withdraw rather than engage . . . I feel that you need professional guidance so you can get an area of manageability so you can start your recovery process . . .

And, by the way, anxiety does create the sensation of losing it because we feel out of control . . . for me, I have had to learn that I cannot control anxiety, but I can manage it . . . it is a process rather than an event, but it does help if you have professional guidance so you are not going through it alone . . . .I wish I had a magic solution, but the best I can offer you is a community of members who understand what you are experiencing and hope that you will return . . .we will support you as best we can . . . and there is always, always, always light even at the end of a hellish tunnel . . . please keep in touch . . .take care, kc
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Offline Lily120

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Re: Can't find myself again scared of everything and feel lonely
« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2014, 10:36:24 PM »
Hello, naturallyderived. I know how you feel. Anxiety has a way of isolating a person, but you aren't alone, like kconnors and laineymom have said. I don't have any great wisdom and I too am currently in a similar place. I've discovered before but am having trouble remember myself that the way out is through. I typically have to acknowledge and feel the anxiety before I can let it go, if only for a moment. Not so easy a task, I know.
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