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Author Topic: What type of anxiety do I have?  (Read 211 times)

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Offline Toyerk

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What type of anxiety do I have?
« on: January 06, 2014, 09:19:00 AM »
Hi there, I am new to the forum and would like to know what type of anxiety or depression I have?

About 6 years ago I had my first panic attack, I remember taking my blood pressure, up until then it was always in normal ranges, this time however it was a bit elevated, worried I took another reading, this time it was even higher, I started to sweat and my heart began racing. I called out to my wife to rush me to hospital as I thought I may be having a heart attack and be dying. Prior to this episode my thoughts had increasingly been about death and my mortality until the thoughts consumed 99% of my day.
When I got to the hospital they did an ECG and found everything to be in normal ranges. I was sent home. My second attack happened while driving home from work, I remember running and immediately went for the blood pressure machine, my BP was elevated and with every reading the higher it got. My wife took me to hospital again. This time the doctor asked what my symptoms were and asked if I had tingling sensations in my hand and I confirmed that. He then told me I had a panic attack and I should seek out the help of a psychologist. I did this and had a few sessions, she also referred me to a psychiatrist that put me on (SRI's) think it is called that. I was on quite a lot of different medication. I visited the psychologist for 6 months and the psychiatrist for a year. After that I took myself off the meds. While this was happening I still went to see a cardiologist and other specialists who could find nothing wrong but they did do an angiogram and found a slight narrowing of my artery. The specialist recommended that I should be put on Ecotrin and Liptor for life even though my cholestrol was not high.

Fast forward to last year,   my thoughts of death was still present but not to the extent as it was when I had my attacks and I knew how to control my breathing because of the techniques I learned via the psychologist. I was never good with keeping money and could and still cannot say no if someone asks me for anything and I have it suffice to say I found myself deep in financial trouble so I decided to quit work to get my severance package so that I could make the phone calls stop. I paid up most of my debt and helped out family members giving them "loans", paid up my mothers vehicle  and bought a car for my in-laws. I quit in April 2013 and thought I would find employment quite quickly, this did not happen. My also does not work so we decided to take what is left of our money to open up our own food business, we have been open just over 3 months and the money well has run dry.

I now find myself with body pains all over but mostly on the left side of my body. I search the internet constantly for a diagnosis for the aches and pains. If I find a diagnosis I will find a new ache then search again. My latest pain is a burning sensation on my right thigh, so I searched for that and found a diagnosis which was "Meralgia Paraesthetica". At least I knew what that was, now I started having stabbing pains in the chest area and my back and having been searching for a diagnosis. Last night I did not sleep and was holding my chest waiting for a heart attack to happen and it never did. I know my anxiety/stress is directly related to the situation I find myself in. The pains in my chest have moved to my jaw region as I am typing this and I hope it is just psychological because I red that pain in the jaw is one of the signs of a heart attack.

I apologise for non-consistent story line of the above story but that is just how I am all over the place. If my wife asks what is wrong I tend to snap at her and tell her nothing is wrong even though I am in pain but I don't want her to worry.
Apologies also for mentioning my financial situation but it has a direct bearing on my story  :fragend005:
I  would just like to go 1 hour/day/week without having this negative thoughts in my head  :(

Regards

Toyer
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Offline kconnors

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Re: What type of anxiety do I have?
« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2014, 09:50:20 AM »
Hi . . . .glad you stopped by to share your experience but sorry that you are having such a difficult time . . . we cannot diagnose your anxiety or depression as most of us, from what I can tell, are not medical professionals . . . .the best we can do is share our stories and support each other in recovery . . . .

You have had several major life changing experiences including disappointments with not finding employment as quickly as anticipated and starting a new business with little financial backing . . . .all of these issues * may * contribute to your physical symptoms and reflect a combination of anxiety and depression . . . you have self-diagnosed yourself as having meralgia paresthetica which you may or may not have . . . only a medical professional can ascertain that . . . .often for those of us with anxiety, we stay away from using the web because we more than likely begin to assume the symptomology that describes a condition and then, of course, this intensifies our anxiety . . . .

Even though you may not want your wife to worry, by not knowing what is going on and snapping at her, you are creating worries for her . . . . she needs to know what is going on so she can support you as you find out how to best manage your symptoms . . . my suggestions would be a return to your family doctor and a new referral to a psychologist and/or psychiatrist and definitely not to self-diagnose yourself or take yourself off meds . . . that is not to say that you have to use meds, but there is a protocol for stopping any type of medication and you need to be full informed so you can make your choice . . .

In this forum, we will do everything we can to support you, but your first step to recovery is to get a professional opinion of your status and guidance including how best to handle your financial situation especially in light of opening a new business . . . my other suggestion and this was a hard one for me is to realize that recover is not a smooth process . . . . it is a process and not a one time event so you need to be prepared to work on the recovery part . . . sorry I could not be of more help, but please do check back often here as there are many, many people with greater insights than my own who will do what they can to help you . . .take care, kc
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Offline Toyerk

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Re: What type of anxiety do I have?
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2014, 10:00:07 AM »
Thank you for the reply, I will go back to the family doctor and see if she can assist or point me to the right direction.

Once again thank you
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Offline kconnors

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Re: What type of anxiety do I have?
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2014, 10:48:09 AM »
Hi Toyer,

For me, you are making a great decision to revisit with your family doctor . . . .once you know what is going on, then it is so much more effective to map out a plan of action . . . please, though, come back here and let us know how things are going for you . . . .even if it is just to say hi . . . .you'll find that this community is a very welcoming place and we admire anyone who comes here for having the strength to explain his or her situation because that is such a big contribution to all of our understanding of our own personal situation . . .so, thank you for taking the first step and please keep in touch . . .take care, kc
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