Hello everyone, I am new here to this forum. I am 28 and for about 8 months I have been having a lot of anxiety and panic attacks. I went to see a psychologist because for the longest time I refused to get medication. I didn't want to have to rely on a drug to feel better. I met with her and she basically told me I was depressed and should get medication. When I saw her in December, I was so tired and done with being afraid. I honestly didn't think that I would make it to 2014... but here I am. I went to the doctor to get anti-depressants and I've been taking them for two days now. I know it takes a month for them to take affect but they make me feel so lousy.
The worst part about all this is that it's starting to affect my work, school and personal life. I feel like I'm letting everyone down, including myself, because I need time to recover. I just want to quit everything and go far away by myself so I can heal mentally but I can't afford that and I have so many obligations. I don't have any kids though, so I don't have to worry about that.
Along with medication I am also reading Mind Over Mood (cognitive behavioral therapy) and I previously read Mindful Awareness which helped. I am trying so hard to stay positive but sometimes, when I dread going to work or even going out with friends, I feel like there is no hope. Why am I afraid to go out of my house? Why do I get so scared when I wait in line at Chipotle to where I feel like I'm going to faint and my hands get all sweaty?
I don't know what I am afraid of, but I'm tired of being afraid.