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Author Topic: Is it the weed? Is it me?  (Read 460 times)

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Offline Brit_Expat

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Is it the weed? Is it me?
« on: January 05, 2014, 04:38:03 AM »
Hi All,
First time I have reached out for advise online, I also currently live in the Middle East where going to a doc about this kind of thing is bad news. Basically, (and ashamedly), I have been smoking weed for  6 years (near enough non stop). My partner and I have been living with each other for 5 of those years and he also smokes. The other day, I opened up the subject of marriage (6 years no ring), and to my surprise (he is a closed book), he turns out to be quite unhappy with our lifestyle, he feels we are becoming hermitized, too comfortable and leading unhealthy lifestyles (despite having two pretty good jobs) and he doesn't want to marry into this lifestyle. We talked, I cried and we agreed, after this last little bit, no more smoking lets change up the lifestyle and be more social and healthy. Sorry to seem like I'm using a anxiety forum for my relationship issues but this seemed to be the trigger for my current onslaught of anxiety. Despite still having some smoke left and trying to self medicate it appears to be doing nothing. I have real troubles sleeping and when i finally nod off, any slight noise or movement wakes me up and then.....the torrent of negative worrisome thoughts start, the unpleasant tingling of my legs and arms, dizziness, heart racing and occasionally vomiting. My worries goes from 'what if we break up' to 'how am I going to be able to cope without weed' to 'is this going to get me fired because i'm too busy shaking and puking to get into my car and get there?'. - (note: I tend to enjoy weed as it helps numbs me to certain emotions or stress and helps shut off my overthinker of a brain)
I have read loads on this, breathing exercises, CBT, muscle relaxation and to be honest, its all very well doing these things when you're calm and have time, but for me, during an episode, i cannot do anything and i get more and more frustrated/anxious. I know this is all in my head, I know I cant predict the future or control what exactly will happen but that part of my brain controlling my anxiety is utterly useless. When I quit, will i be able to look back at this and laugh pointing all symptoms to smoke? Or will this condition badger me for the rest of my life? Any sleep tips, management tips would be very gratefully received. Sorry for waffling on :)
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Is it the weed? Is it me?
« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2014, 08:53:51 AM »
Hope others will join in because I know nothing about weed. Yet it is in the forefront in our State because it was legalized and is now posing a mystery re consequences. So I worry about pot fans on the road. They don't even know what to do about that potential problem.

Maybe wean yourself off it slowly and gradually move toward CBT, various exercise (including yoga, tai chi, qigong, etc.), journaling, and meditation, all of which can help with patience and tenacity. One big aspect of CBT is to build yourself up with positive self-talk, plenty of praise so you can face whatever may develop with the relationship. Be compassionate with yourself as we are with you and try to support you as best we can.
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Offline Brit_Expat

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Re: Is it the weed? Is it me?
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2014, 05:33:11 AM »
Thank you so much for the reply, I also hoped others with similar experiences would share some advice, after being sent home for the second time from work (they thought it was a stomach bug) I went to the doc as I feel my heart hadn't stopped beating so fast all day and I was slipping in and out of minor panic attacks all day. I live in the Middle East so anti anxiety medicine is mostly banned here, the doc could only prescribe me with Meresa 50 (2 at night) and today I feel a slightly bit better (she wrote me off work for today) but to be honest, it's not helping as much as I'd hoped. I'm now worrying that tomorrow will be the same as Monday and because I have to go to work, my anxiety is going to kick in hardcore again. I tried cutting down and weening myself off the smoke but to be honest, it doesn't seem to be helping at either. Have googled and practised some yoga for relaxation and bathing excercises and these do help a bit at that time but when I finish I feel that hot tingling heat wave over me and my heart starts again. Trying to be positive, telling myself it will be ok.....
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Online Stressed Jumper

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Re: Is it the weed? Is it me?
« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2014, 07:50:02 AM »
I haven't touched pot in over 15 years (I just didn't like it) but you could be having a slight case of withdrawal since you said you used it to numb your emotions...now you are having to deal with them full force.  It may seem overwhelming now but should ease as you get used to "feeling" again.  With regard to meds you may want to try natural supplements to get you over the hump if you cannot get access to prescription meds.  Melatonin, valerian root extract, and raspberry leaves all have calming properties although the first two can cause drowsiness in some people.  St. John's Wort also has mood stabilizing properties.  All of the above are readily available online or at a health food store without a prescription.  With all nutraceuticals the effects and dose needed to get an effect vary greatly from person to person so you may need to do some experimenting.  Another option might be to see if you can find a british or american etc. doc who will do a telephone or ***** evaluation and give you a scrip you can fill through an online pharmacy.  Hope this helps and hang in there!
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Offline Brit_Expat

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Re: Is it the weed? Is it me?
« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2014, 08:23:05 AM »
Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate the advice, I will definitely have a look into the natural supplements and online pharmacies (although I don't think they are any of them in this particular country) it's a great idea. I am certainly aware of replacing one addiction with another. Thank you again, so nice to have some encouraging and helpful words.
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Online Stressed Jumper

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Re: Is it the weed? Is it me?
« Reply #5 on: January 08, 2014, 07:37:40 AM »
Glad that helped, here's one other thought: If you do find a doc who will do telephone or online evals and they do prescribe you something (for example I am on Zoloft for my anxiety) could you have it shipped to a friend in a country where that is allowed and then have them mail it to you? 
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