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Author Topic: Obsessing about death, mine and others  (Read 1591 times)

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Online tinam7

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #10 on: January 08, 2014, 08:05:28 AM »
The other day at Costco I had the book in my hand. Sorry I did not get it. Believe it is meant as a young adult book but is really so much more. It is now a movie also.

Anyway, hope you have jump started your interest in your life. That is the best antidote to getting caught in traps that just waste our time. If it helps to talk about it here, that's good too. It is generally a taboo subject, yet no one escapes it.
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Offline jlhcorley

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #11 on: January 09, 2014, 07:58:33 AM »
If it helps you feel better, I've had the same type of death obsessions since I was 10. I wrote a will when I was 13. I have had my cemetery plot picked out since I was a teenager.

I'm about to turn 38, and none of my death premonitions or fears have come true.

It sounds like magical thinking is tormenting you. I hope you are able to relabel these thoughts and live in the now :)

Jen
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Offline BeeDot

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #12 on: January 09, 2014, 10:08:58 AM »
"philosopher at heart"......oh definitely.  Makes for interesting conversations, but I do sometimes let things get me down.

Jlhcorley: thanks for your story.  I'm glad to have put a name to it--magical thinking.  I am also glad to hear that you are still alive and kicking despite your fears of death.  I find it amazing that you were able to write a will and pick out a cemetery plot....if I had done those things, I would have felt sure that meant I would die soon!
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For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.  -Author Unknown

Offline Billy33

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #13 on: January 21, 2014, 05:53:03 AM »
Oh I have experienced those thoughts every day of my life since I was 5 years old. the good news is I turn 36 in a couple of weeks so the thoughts ain't got me yet! At the same time, I am absolutely terrified to complete tasks. I feel like if I finish everything, then I have no purpose and my existence will end. At one time I had a list of things that I wanted to accomplish. I completed all but one item to avoid being without "something to live for"! I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm right there with you. Until about two years ago, I didn't know that my thoughts weren't normal. I just thought I was weaker than everyone else and I just simply couldn't handle things. Then my wife talked me into trying therapy and it was like a whole new world opened up!!! I still have to deal with the intrusive magical thoughts, and they still haunt me, but I have hope that I will someday be able to get past them.
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Offline Billy33

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« Reply #14 on: January 21, 2014, 05:54:12 AM »
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Offline aec711

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #15 on: January 24, 2014, 10:18:11 PM »
I have the exact same thoughts my whole life ( I am 32).  I am always convinced of the same things you are.  Do you have kids?  I have noticed mine is so much worse now that I have them (3 and 1).  I always think everything is a sign that one of us is going to die.  I was dropping my son off at preschool and we were in the car and he said "mom, I just love you so much - you are my best friend".  And we say that stuff a lot, but I thought it was for sure a sign that this would be the last time I see him because some crazy person is going to come in the school and shoot people.  But I have tons of thoughts like that a day.  And when I type it out it looks so ridiculous.  I am so tired of feeling this way.  Uggg!!  I feel like I am wasting the life I was giving dwelling on miserable thoughts all the time.  Stupid brain!
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Online tinam7

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #16 on: January 26, 2014, 08:09:52 AM »
Well, the good thing about the brain is that it can be trained and retrained. Make friends with your brain and you are on your way to better mind/body health.

You might want to explore CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) with a therapist or on your own (web research, books). You want to try and project confidence and strength for your children. In the Medications and Therapy section (upper part) there are some links re CBT as well as self help books that might be of interest.
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Offline BeeDot

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #17 on: January 27, 2014, 05:34:33 PM »
Aec711, No I don't have kids, but that's not the first time I've heard someone say that this often happens when you do have kids.  First of all, that is a very sweet thing for your son to say: )  But if I had been in an anxious mindset, I totally would have thought it was a sign of something bad coming too!  I used to leave my mom notes for her to find after I'd left for University or summer camp or some such activity.  Then I started being afraid to do that because I thought it would turn into something she would find after I died....I'm very dramatic: )

Tinam, I want to think cBT works.  I just haven't had any success with it.  I think part of my problem is that I feel like if I shut down those thoughts, I will miss the "signs" telling me when I'm going to die....which I don't want to see in the first place....my mind makes no sense.
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For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.  -Author Unknown

Offline Billy33

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #18 on: January 28, 2014, 02:24:20 AM »
I do the fortune teller thing as well. When I was young, my father would start fights with my mom for seemingly no reason. Some days I would be riding the bus home from school and I'd get a sinking feeling that a fight was going to happen. More than once I was right and I started to think I could predict the future!!! Then whenever something felt odd or I would experience a strange sensation, I thought for sure that I was dying. That would (and still does) lead to panic attacks. I am currently doing the cbt sessions and I want to believe in them as well but I just don't know.
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Online tinam7

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #19 on: January 28, 2014, 08:32:45 AM »
Our brain can be our worst enemy, but also our good friend. It needs to be educated. Is education ever easy? No usually. It is reading, thinking, writing, focussing, paying attention, assimilating, recalling. It is effort and work.

Does learning happen overnight? Not generally. Will our brain become our friend with CBT overnight? Not likely. But with CBT there is the potential. We become so busy trying to win our brain as our friend, there is no time or energy to waste on the Grim Reaper.
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