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Author Topic: Obsessing about death, mine and others  (Read 1277 times)

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Offline BeeDot

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Obsessing about death, mine and others
« on: January 05, 2014, 01:11:54 AM »
I'm not sure if this belongs here or not, but I have heard that these thinking patterns are related to OCD, though I've never been officially diagnosed. 

I cannot stop thinking about my death--and that it will be an early one.  I am but 23 years old and cannot imagine myself growing older.  I am so afraid of dying early that it influences many of my actions.  What I hate the most is that I always find a way for death to influence my life.

If I express my true feelings to someone (usually those of love or appreciation) I'm afraid that the Universe is prodding me to say these things before it takes me forever.

When I tidy up my house, I am afraid that I am doing it so that when I die, people will have less to take care of.

If I have something exciting planned, I think I will die before it happens and it will then be a tragic story.  If I do happen to live through the event, I think I will die after it.

If I experience something truly beautiful, I think it's a gift from the Universe before I die. 

The list goes on.....am I making sense?  Does anyone else experience this?  My god, I would love to hear from someone who felt this way when they were younger but has lived to a ripe old age! 

I'm seriously afraid of unconsciously "getting my affairs in order" or accomplishing my life dreams because then I feel there is no reason for the Universe not to take me.
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For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.  -Author Unknown

Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2014, 05:21:01 AM »
Well you are still alive. So that's a good start. I would say a lot of people think about death. The older we get the more the mind may think about the subject. Especially if we know anybody who has died. To know people who have died brings home the reality of death. That it can happen to anybody. It has no age limit on it. Now having said all of that I would rather die knowing I gave life my best shot. Say ten years from now I heard I was dying. I would like to be able to look back and see that I didn't sit around and waste my time waiting for death to happen. I got up and I done things. If we sit waiting for death it will finally catch up with us. Fact is that none of us when we are going to die. Not unless we are really ill in hospital and they tell us or our family we have a certain time span left. Or we kill ourselves. Other than that we can't say when we will die. I like to accept death as part of life. Fair to say we are dying since the day we are born. But it is all about what we do with the time in between that matters most of all. That time we class as life. Try and find some meaning to your life. Read a few positive books. Put fresh ideas in that head of yours. Enjoy what you have right now. Rather than look back years from now and feel like you wasted you time sitting around worrying about death.
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Offline marc

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2014, 09:17:19 AM »
I am 57 and I went to se my ENT physician and he is 60. He said to me, Marc, unfortunately, as we
age, more and more people will begin to go around us. There is noting we can really do about it. I believe and
have read that the inability to accept uncertainty is the root of OCD thoughts.
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Offline BeeDot

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2014, 09:39:31 PM »
Yes, I do have trouble with uncertainty.


I just hate that I see the world as a series of "signs" telling me when my demise might be upon me.  I love the world and all of its wonder and beauty and I would love to not see it as quite so threatening.  I'm tired of the Universe talking to me: ) 

I have just heard so many stories of people knowing they were going to die....saying things....getting their affairs in order....all of this before an "unexpected" death (car wreck, aneurysm, shooting, etc.) I am so afraid of everything I do for fear I am accidentally preparing for my death.

This sounds crazy.
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For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.  -Author Unknown

Offline tinam7

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #4 on: January 06, 2014, 08:15:22 AM »
There is no certainty in life except death. And death is necessary to make room for others. It is the natural, inevitable cycle on earth. There is no other way for everyone. No exceptions.

An added problem for us is attachment. We create some of our own worst suffering with attachments to people, to things, to wishes, desires, cravings, etc. We can help ourself by accepting what is and doing whatever we can for ourself and others. Be in the moment. The past is done, the future unknown. To be in the moment, there is yoga, tai chi, meditation. Can work wonders.

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Offline BeeDot

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2014, 07:37:36 PM »
I really WANT to like things like yoga or tai chi or meditation.  However, I get so anxious when I do them!  All that inner focus is tricky for me.  I start to feel like I can't breathe.  I don't suppose this is uncommon for anxiety sufferers: )

Has anyone had any success accepting death?  Not people who have never had a problem with it, but do you think it's actually possible to be afraid of uncertainty and then come to terms with it?  I have made zero progress in this regard and, yet, I think it's a major key to overcoming anxiety.
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For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.  -Author Unknown

Offline e77

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2014, 08:05:59 PM »
I know what you mean BeeDot.  Death scares me too.  A good friend of mine recommended a book to me that I found to be comforting where "death" is the narrator in the book.  The story taking place during the horror of war.  It's called "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak and is a quick read.  Maybe death will not be so bad.   Every living thing in the universe we know of dies and is an intimate part of existence.  All a part of this beautiful and magical universe.  This is how I try to wrap my mind around it these days, but I have bad days too when I dwell on it.  Take care and give yourself as much time as you need to catch your breath!
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #7 on: January 07, 2014, 07:33:18 AM »
The Book Thief is a fabulous book. Read it a long time ago. May get it in paperback and read it again.

Now Mr. D and I have a very close relationship having had many close escapes from the moment I was born. Even developed terrible asthma so he'd take me. He refused.

These days he parades in front of my window. When he winks at me I wave him on. "Get lost. I'm too busy now." He tips his hat and marches on. All you have to do is live your life. He hates anyone busy and happy, esp. if they do yoga, tai chi, and meditate. You can't expect to learn these overnight. I've been at it for years, taken countless classes. Baby steps. Patience. You can do it.
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Offline BeeDot

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #8 on: January 07, 2014, 01:03:04 PM »
I LOVED The Book Thief as a kid....I should go back an read it again. 

Thanks for your thoughts.  I'd like to think that Death hates those of us that are happy, but being really happy is definitely a trigger for me--I always think that means I'm about to die.  I wonder where I ever developed that thinking pattern....
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For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.  -Author Unknown

Offline e77

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #9 on: January 07, 2014, 02:26:23 PM »
Interesting perspective BeeDot.  It reminded me of the Grateful Dead song "Uncle John's Band." There's a line in the song that goes "cause when life looks like easy street there is danger at your door." It seems others have had the thoughts you have.  Maybe you are a philosopher at heart who struggles with the big questions.  Anyway, don't let it get you down. Peace
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #10 on: January 08, 2014, 08:05:28 AM »
The other day at Costco I had the book in my hand. Sorry I did not get it. Believe it is meant as a young adult book but is really so much more. It is now a movie also.

Anyway, hope you have jump started your interest in your life. That is the best antidote to getting caught in traps that just waste our time. If it helps to talk about it here, that's good too. It is generally a taboo subject, yet no one escapes it.
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Offline jlhcorley

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #11 on: January 09, 2014, 07:58:33 AM »
If it helps you feel better, I've had the same type of death obsessions since I was 10. I wrote a will when I was 13. I have had my cemetery plot picked out since I was a teenager.

I'm about to turn 38, and none of my death premonitions or fears have come true.

It sounds like magical thinking is tormenting you. I hope you are able to relabel these thoughts and live in the now :)

Jen
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Offline BeeDot

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #12 on: January 09, 2014, 10:08:58 AM »
"philosopher at heart"......oh definitely.  Makes for interesting conversations, but I do sometimes let things get me down.

Jlhcorley: thanks for your story.  I'm glad to have put a name to it--magical thinking.  I am also glad to hear that you are still alive and kicking despite your fears of death.  I find it amazing that you were able to write a will and pick out a cemetery plot....if I had done those things, I would have felt sure that meant I would die soon!
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For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.  -Author Unknown

Offline Billy33

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Re: Obsessing about death, mine and others
« Reply #13 on: January 21, 2014, 05:53:03 AM »
Oh I have experienced those thoughts every day of my life since I was 5 years old. the good news is I turn 36 in a couple of weeks so the thoughts ain't got me yet! At the same time, I am absolutely terrified to complete tasks. I feel like if I finish everything, then I have no purpose and my existence will end. At one time I had a list of things that I wanted to accomplish. I completed all but one item to avoid being without "something to live for"! I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm right there with you. Until about two years ago, I didn't know that my thoughts weren't normal. I just thought I was weaker than everyone else and I just simply couldn't handle things. Then my wife talked me into trying therapy and it was like a whole new world opened up!!! I still have to deal with the intrusive magical thoughts, and they still haunt me, but I have hope that I will someday be able to get past them.
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Offline Billy33

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« Reply #14 on: January 21, 2014, 05:54:12 AM »
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