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Author Topic: What drives our specific fears?  (Read 686 times)

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Offline rileybug

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Re: What drives our specific fears?
« Reply #10 on: January 02, 2014, 06:34:28 PM »
My main fear is cancer-scares me to death.  No one in my family under age 80 has had it.  My mom is still alive at 100.  I think  my fear is if i get cancer i will miss out on so many things in life i've been looking foward to for ever.(my daughter just got engaged-is graduating med school in may 2014 and my granddaughter won't remember who i am)  I would feel like i got cheated in life-not that im special-but those are things i want to experience.
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Offline sad_dad

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Re: What drives our specific fears?
« Reply #11 on: January 02, 2014, 07:38:30 PM »
These are all really interesting answers. Thanks. It helps sometimes to see what others are thinking and why. I guess that's why a board like this is a good thing.

ALS is another one I read about on the board here that I've never considered. With me, Cancer is scary....especially Pancreatic Cancer and its near certain death. But nobody in my family has had anything other than basal cell skin cancer, and only at old age. My grandmother on my father's side lived to 100. I should be worried about Alzheimer's, as it runs in my family on my father's side. But I haven't found myself bothered by that too much. Yet.
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Offline Pingman

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Re: What drives our specific fears?
« Reply #12 on: January 02, 2014, 07:45:14 PM »
My therapist has opened some new avenues of thinking even if I haven't quite dove in all the way.

His theory is our sensations mask some fear we all have deep inside.I am a typical 36 year old man who was taught men never show fear or cry. My mom left when I was 10 and my dad raised me. He was always so proud at how mentally tough I was...so thats what I did was act strong.

One thing that ahs come out in therapy is that I really have zero people to lean on when times get tough or when I need to show my weaknesses. I have to be strong for my wife, son....be a man to my dad and my brain is now wired to always act on the outside like I have my act together when in reality some times I don't.

In therapy I always cry when I talk about my son. My therapist seems to think there is a correlation to how I was never allowed to be a child and now a part of me that is vulnerable and sick of always acting like I ahve it together is coming out in sensations. The sensations are the minds way of keeping the focus off the fear so I won't expose myself as weak to anyone.

It is interesting...I am pretty rational in that I know I am gonna die and don't dwell in it...nor cancer or my heart etc...... but MS was my fear and it impacts my eyes so my brain is pretty smart. It know how to keep my mind preoccupied. Cancer wouldnt work on my but making me think my eyes are messed up does.
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Offline JenMarie279

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Re: What drives our specific fears?
« Reply #13 on: January 03, 2014, 04:09:16 AM »
My fears are always geared towards cancer and it is getting constantly triggered.  I can't watch tv without something cancer related coming on.  I remember I went through an entire day being my old self and a damn Cancer Treatment Center of America commercial came on and BAM. 
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Offline livelaughlove

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Re: What drives our specific fears?
« Reply #14 on: January 03, 2014, 05:37:49 AM »
this is a very interesting question with interesting replies! I think it's a combination of environment, lifestyle, past experiences, and brain chemistry. Like for me, I feel fine as long as I am active and on the go. Unfortunately, my 8-5 mon thru friday desk job is slowly killing me... it is really hard for me to sit still, i feel unchallenged and bored and then my mind starts to wonder because i am doing nothing to release the physical energy. It sucks. For past experiences, yeah, i may have had it more rough than others at a young age but i don't think that's what really affected me (though some may have PTSD) but i think it's just my chemistry and the combo of being forced to be inactive. I tend to be on the OCD side and i like to be really busy with multiple tasks going on at once, i actually thrive on that. I am really creative, and nothing is challenging me at this moment. I think modern lifestyle and desk jobs are directly causing anxiety and personality disorders to rear their ugly heads in all people... and, I think the LED lighting in computers and cell phones is detrimental to health by affecting melatonin, thus causing insomnia and neck strain... thus causing irrational fears and behaviours and fatigue and migraines and tension headaches.. you don't feel good, then people take painkillers which cause other probs like constipation and pigging out on food... it is a never ending cycle of our modern world. It will continue to get worse due to how everything is related to computer work. People are addicted to technology. It may just be a worse addiction than the most potent of street drugs. It is a slow killer. I try to get up as much as possible at work and stretch and do neck stretches, ive adjusted my chair and monitor and make sure i am using good posture... wear glasses at work and at home if i have to go on the computer i wear sunglasses.... looks silly but has significantly helped with my neck pain and back of head pain
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Offline livelaughlove

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Re: What drives our specific fears?
« Reply #15 on: January 03, 2014, 05:46:29 AM »
oh but my point is is that back in the day people did not have all these problems. They were active and kids played outside. There were hardly any overweight people out there. Nowadays, kids at a young age are glued to the tv and computers and ipads. Parents are glued to their computers and cell phones. Teens are glued to their cell phones and texting. It is not good. There is no way to release physical energy. It seems all these problems started getting really bad in the 1990s and coincidentally look at how technology has boomed since then
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Offline patmob

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Re: What drives our specific fears?
« Reply #16 on: January 03, 2014, 06:48:29 AM »
I agree that technology had made us more sedentary - when I was a kid saying "lets play football" meant going outside and actually playing football, now it means turning on the Xbox and picking up the controller.

That being said, I don't think its a single cause, we also need to look at our food supply and how we've downgraded the quality of our food in favor of quantity, cheaper price and some mistaken belief that if every single meal you eat isn't the best tasting thing you've ever had then you'll never eat it again.
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Offline Lunatone

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Re: What drives our specific fears?
« Reply #17 on: January 03, 2014, 04:11:04 PM »
Positive Feedback - anxiety causing symptoms whic are believed to be dangerous which causes anxiety, which causes more intense worry. This tends to go on, reinforcing itself, endlessly.
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