Sounds like a classic case of depression, indeed. I am older (52), and have been in a marriage for 26 years. I can only tell you my limited perspective. I noticed over the several years that my wife has walked with me through depression, that, at first, we were a team and she was very helpful (It had a romance to it). That wore off, and she became irritated about me talking about my depression, because she did not have the means to help me. I finally discovered, for me, to not discuss it (I was always paranoid that she could tell when I was depressed, and insisted on 100 percent reassurance that I was not ruining her life). I finally hooked up with a local peer support group that is able to do what my wife cannot. She is happy because I am managing my problem myself without apologies. I found out from my group that there are a lot of repetitive trains of thought common to the illness. For a guy, attending group can feel humiliating. I do it for my wife's sake. If your wife is a helper type, it may work talking to her about it for a while, but for me there had to come a time where I had to stop talking about it, with her, and even a therapist. I needed my peers, like us here. However, face to face is better.