I wrote a really long post earlier and it deleted itself ): so I'll make this one brief if I can. I've been going out with my boyfriend(23) for 5 years and I'm 20. I've put in our age because I think it could be relevant. I love him and our relationship works so well, he makes me very happy and we are both happy with our relationship. We live a few miles away from each other and have spent every other day for the last 5 years together although recently I have moved to uni so the dynamic has changed. We still see each other every 2 months for a full month so it works very well, I have been happy with it and so is he.
Although recently I have been getting very bad anxiety while thinking about things. Im aware we began our relationship at a very young age and I'm worried its unrealistic that it will work out. I always wanted to marry him but had never mentioned it because I didn't know if he wanted that, earlier this year we talked about moving in together after uni and told me he wants to marry me. Initially this made me so happy that we wanted the same thing but recently I have been getting anxiety about it all.
I dont really know why I am worried because I love him and he makes me so happy, when Im with him I feel safe and secure. I could see us working out so well and spending our lives together. He helps me through so much and we always manage to work through things. I've told him about my anxiety and he really tried to help me, he says he's really in love with me and he doesnt want to think about us breaking up but he wants me to be happy. He said I should seek advice from someone that can help me so I decided to write on here.
I've been trying to figure out the cause of my anxiety and a few things usually trigger it so I know why I have anxiety but I dont know whether I should end my relationship because of it or try to work it out. I've only ever been with my boyfriend and that scares me a little, I dont have a desire to be with other people but I'm scared that there might be someone out there that is better for me and I dont know it. We began going out at such a young age so im scared that we wont love each other in years to come and that it will be different. I was always infatuated with him but recently I dont feel that way anymore I feel that I love him and am happy. Im worried that I should still feel that head over heels feeling. Im not really interested in sex as much anymore even when we got together after being separated for 2 months at uni I wanted to kiss him and hug him but I wasnt really interested in having sex. I do enjoy it but I also feel a bit bored of it like its the same thing every time. I dont feel terrified of the thought of us breaking up, I cant remember what its like to not be with him so I dont know if I would be heart broken. I dont want to break up and I really hope this is just how relationships go, I wouldnt know though because this is the only one I've ever had. I know relationships are something that need to be worked at and they aren't always going to be a fairytale. Im just worried that if I'm thinking of getting married to him I should feel a lot more in love.
Marriage is really important to me and I dont want to make the wrong decision, I see a marriage as something that has to be worked on together but should also bring happiness of course. I just dont want to be at my wedding day in so many years feeling guilty for feeling anxious! I really hope a lot of people feel like this in their relationships and its more fear of the unknown than my heart telling me I'm not in love anymore or something. Please help! Thanks.