Hello again everyone. I wanted to thank you all again for your help. Just knowing I can get things off my chest here with understanding folks has been a huge help for me. Unfortunately, I didn't take all the advice I got(I stayed to try to work things out). After Christmas, things sort of leveled out a little. Unfortunately again, it didn't last. I was getting to my wits end, when, in a rare moment of clarity, she returned to counseling to work on her end.
She was diagnosed with adhd. The gentleman that she is seeing is a really nice guy, who when I went in to see him has been trying to help her sort out her issues. Up until last week, everything seems to be going back on track. Well, as has been the norm, my hopes for a happy family and stable life have been crushed again.
This week she has been completely out in left field. I go to work and come home, when I get home I start cleaning the house and taking care of our son because she isn't attending to her responsibilities here. Every night she dissapears into a project or to visit friends and help them. I've been going nonstop. Obviously my resentment and frustration has been building and building.
Anyway, on to the main event(so to speak). The last three weekends, she has completely dissapeared to help her friends and go visiting. She leaves early, and comes home late. Does not help with anything around here and when I ask for help, says she is too busy and I can do it. As far as my son, when I asked her to help with him, she said "your a parent, I watch him while your at work." Ugh.
Well, this is the third weekend in a row this has been happening and this last week she did it every night. And then yestersay, I was supposed to have the day to fix my truck(we are down to one car), mow the lawn, and generally catch up on things I haven't been able to due to covering for her. When I got home from my run to town to get part, she was getting ready to leave. Told me my son was napping and she was heading out.
I lost it.
All the anger and resentment came to the surface. All my disappointment on her flooded me to the core. I tried to remain calm, but there was no hope. When I said that she was supposed to take care of our son, and she has been taking off constantly and it wasn't fair. She responded with a "tough *****". Well, not calmly or quietly at all, I told her that was it. If she left, don't come back. I'm tired of your attitude and not taking care of your responsibilities. She reaponded with baseless accusations, stuck her tongue out at me(yes, very wtf moment for me) and finished getting ready and left. I sent her a text telling her I'm extremely dissapointed, I can't do this anymore, and unless she returned at a reasonable time and discussed the info her doc gave us to help cope with her issues, I wasn't going to continue the relationship and she wasn't welcome back.
She didn't respond, but called me 3 hours later. She was slurring her speech. She had gone to her friends and started drinking (by herself) and now was too drunk to drive and was belligerent. I told her that I was dissapointed. She left me and my son with no car, got drunk, and was continuing to drink andbe an asshole(sorry for the language.). After she hung up on me, I tried to call her back but she wouldn't answer. So I sent her a text that it was over. Do not return. And she could call to get her stuff another day, or have her mother do so. She had no response. An hour later she texts me to ask if our son is up and she was coming home. I told her don't bother. She had just told me that she didn't need to see him because she sees him all week. That she didn't care that I was upset or if we split. I warned her that she was not welcome, and she shouldn't drive anyway because she had been drinking all night.
Anyway, about 2am I finally fell asleep in the chair in my sons room. I didn't hear from her so I hoped she would just be gone. When I woke up this morning, she was on the couch. There was a note to me that she hoped we could enjoy Memorial Day and sort out our differences. At the end it said she loved me. Here it is, quarter to one and she is still passed out on the couch. I needed to get this off my chest because my anger is rising. I want her gone. I just don't know what to do anymore.