I'm starting to develop a new worry about my mental well being. Before I start my tangent, let me provide you guys some back story, alright I started have mental health problems back in June of this year. Those initial problems consisted of intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and some periods of depression where I thought that my anxiety wasn't getting any better, as well as some existential crisis thrown in the midst of it. Anyway, after 3 and half months of hocd, schizophernia, and dyslexia fears, as well as pretty much all of the intrusive thoughts that one could get, I started to change my life for the better and beat my anxiety issues.
Okay that was my abbreviated autobiography. Here's what my issues are as of right now. As you might of already read, I recently beat my anxiety and the last two weeks couldn't of possibly felt any better; to sum it up for you guys I felt normal again, and as happy as I possibly can be.
Here is where my hypocondia was making a comeback, in the midst of feeling good and normal, I was thinking what if this was bi polar and that I was in a manic state. Furthermore, that notion increased when I was hit by a relatively short episode of mild depression (yesterday, and today.) I think my depression might of been caused by a sadistic dream that I had and my completion of the walking dead game (if you had played it than you know what I mean.)
Any who my depression tends to consist of a down mood and feeling like I'm going cry, along with brief 2 second intervals of strong anxiety and finally if it's really bad then I her suicidal thoughts but I've learned to take those thoughts with a grain of salt. Lastly I get a mild feeling of derealization when I feel depressed or anxious. I also feel irritated and annoyed when my mom asked me to do a plethora of jobs but I think that's a normal teen thing.
My mild depression that a had for about a day is beginning to disappear at the that im writing this. If I were to rate my happiness from a scale of 1 to 10 where 5 is normal and 1 and 10 being extreme. My happiness is probably a 5 and half or maybe 6 and a half (probably because I did not feel normal in a while) and my depression is probably a 3 3/4 or a 4, because I'm not where near the major depression.
It seems like when there is nothing wrong I think there has to be something that's wrong. Thanks for reading my rather hefty story