Chat Now!   Member Gallery   Anxiety Zone Wire   Games   Social Groups   AZ Member Blogs   Health News  Bored?

Author Topic: Can't get over the hump to ask a girl out  (Read 292 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Steelers629

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 23
  • Rec's: 1
  • Gender: Male
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Can't get over the hump to ask a girl out
« on: December 28, 2013, 09:38:01 AM »
Hello everybody, I know there's probably a million topics on this but it is really bothering me.

I'm a 25 YO male who's had one girlfriend (in college) that went on for several months.

There's a girl I work with that I've known for several years.  When we first met I think she liked me but I didn't do anything about it.  I wouldn't say we've become good friends but we've always talked at work and I like it.  There's been many times when I wanted to ask her on a date but could never summon the courage.  Over the past few months I think she's been dropping not-so-subtle hints that she wants me to (asking if I have a GF, mentioning that she's not dating anyone). 

I don't know what it is but every time I think about it, I just get overwhelmed with thinking I'll look like a complete dope.  I tried to start texting her outside of work but can never come up with anything to say.  And even if I got past all these hurdles and set up a date, my mind is already going over everything that could go wrong and how I could make a fool of myself.  I was determined when I woke up yesterday to do it but couldn't get it out when we were talking.  Now I'll spend all weekend regretting it and beating myself up over it.

The thing is now I think I've missed all my (MANY) chances to ask her out.  If I was her I wouldn't wait around for so long for a dummy like me to ask her out.  I just wish that for once I could be confident enough to not come off as a nervous adolescent who looks like he's never talked to women.

Thanks for taking the time to read this as it was good to get it off my chest.  If you have any thoughts or ideas I would really, really appreciate it.
Bookmark and Share

Offline Cuchculan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9405
  • Country: ie
  • Rec's: 152
  • Gender: Male
    • Poke This Member
Re: Can't get over the hump to ask a girl out
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2013, 06:03:07 AM »
In life we all get rejected at one time or another. Something I always keep in mind. May seem a silly way to begin answering such a post. But if you don't expect much when you ask her and she says yes you gain. If she says no you have lost nothing. As you were not expecting anything to begin with. But what have you got to lose? You can tell her you are a shy person as a rule. That's just who you are. This is were texting might come in handy. A few text messages. Then you drop in the shy part. So the next time you meet she will understand you are just shy. That can work for you. Big time. Nothing saying you have to be the big romantic. I think if she imagined you were shy, she would also imagine you don't ask people out as a rule. She may be more talkative in future. Save you doing any of the chasing. Just take a step back. Slow yourself down. Deep breath. Now do things at your own pace. Who knows where it will go. She might just be a friendly person. Have no other intentions at all. This is all something you will have to try and find out. She might be just as nervous as you are. So text the girl. Get things moving via text messages. Were you don't have to look her in the eye. Find out what you can. Tell her about yourself. See where is goes from there.
Bookmark and Share
The Lovable Irish Rogue

Offline Steelers629

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 23
  • Rec's: 1
  • Gender: Male
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Can't get over the hump to ask a girl out
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2013, 07:39:59 AM »
Thank you very much for the reply.  I think I was psyching myself out by thinking about being rejected and embarrassed.  I am pretty sure I will see her today so I am going to try to build up the confidence and do it.  I think I'll regret it more if I never ask than if I never go for it.  I'm trying not to think 3 steps ahead to any potential bad things that could happen and take it one step at a time.
Bookmark and Share

Offline BrookeAshley1

  • Global Moderator
  • Full Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 141
  • Country: us
  • Rec's: 1
  • Gender: Female
  • Mood: Thoughtful
    Thoughtful
  • I may not know where I'm going but I'm on my way.
    • Poke This Member
Re: Can't get over the hump to ask a girl out
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2013, 07:48:56 AM »
I think Cuch gave you great advice.

I think any girl worthy of you will accept you, shyness and all! I'm rooting for you.

Good luck :)
Bookmark and Share
Giving up is always an option, but it is never my choice.

Tags:
 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
5 Replies
1150 Views
Last post August 25, 2007, 05:20:30 PM
by retrogurl88
5 Replies
534 Views
Last post July 14, 2011, 04:28:11 PM
by camel
3 Replies
452 Views
Last post May 13, 2010, 12:24:37 AM
by tigerpaw
10 Replies
1559 Views
Last post May 27, 2010, 08:29:44 AM
by tinalouise45
2 Replies
516 Views
Last post November 03, 2010, 04:43:00 PM
by ocdmommy
6 Replies
8501 Views
Last post December 24, 2011, 12:14:00 PM
by dominus