Hi everyone, I'm Isa *waves* I just was looking up my lightheaded anxiety symptom on google (yes another google symptom checker! lol ) and stumbled across your site and thought that this might be a great place for me. I'm a highly social person . . . on the internet
Coming into real life . . no so much. I've been more of an anxious person for most of my life, but starting about March of 2012 I started getting heart palpitations, light headedness, excess fear, extreme worry, you guys know the drill I'm sure. At first I thought something was drastically wrong with me and hid all the symptoms as best I could, running away and avoiding leaving the house as much as I possibly could, working down to just part time about ten hours a week. Afraid all the time, lying in bed just being aware of every beat of my heart thinking that any moment I will collapse/pass out and die. Then I began having panic attacks this August, which of course I didn't know the name of, until I finally got the courage to speak up and say hey I think something is wrong with me, went to the doctor and had a work up done and an EKG, thyroid tested, the whole bit. They found my iron was a little low.
Um okay I think I'm gonna die at any minute and you tell me gee, my iron is a little low?? My doctor was actually very nice and got out the anxiety paperwork form fill out sheet things and low and behold, she thinks I might have anxiety! So we're matching up symptoms and all that fun stuff, and she prescribed some medication and told me to start seeing a therapist. So I tried meds for a month but didn't really like them, I'm not a medication person (I fear that the medicine is actually doing other things to me that I don't want it to do, so yeah in a way my anxiety increased a bit) anyway.
So I stopped those gradually and went for therapy alone starting just this last October and she is an amazing help so far just by giving me a NAME to all my fear and thoughts that I was going crazy! So the low down is . .
Social Anxiety Disorder
with a touch of/beginnings of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Agoraphobia.
Gee. . . that sounds a little more advanced than being low on iron! lol anyway we're really heading in the direction of the belief that most of these things were done to me, rather than me having a brain chemical imbalance from birth, for although I've been a more nervous person I never suffered anything like I have been the past almost two years now. I've really had a lot of life major events that at this point my mind is saying IVE HAD ENOUGH IM DONE NOW and making me panic/high anxiety to leave the situation and go where it is safe, i.e. home. So since this is just an introduction I won't go into major life details (as you can probably tell I'm quite the chatterbox online), but a sum-up for those curious:
-Lost several jobs, one was at my church which was a huge lie fest and ended up forcing me to resign, I lost not only my job but my church of 16 years that I was confirmed in as a teen and several hundred relationships with people of all ages (I taught Sunday School, worked in the Nursery) like you snap your fingers, never got to say goodbye or gradually leave.
-Current part-time job is highly social and I'm stuck between a highly anxious owner and manager who use me to complain to about the other constantly. I also developed a fear of the telephone now because they would call me nearly every day to come in and work shifts that weren't mine, this has since improved but I still startle and have anxiety rise when phone rings.
-Was injured and had to have surgery last year, major trauma event for me.
-Lots of deaths my whole life, lost a friend to a brain tumor, another to a car accident, lost three family members in a plane crash, and lost two of my grandparents less than two years apart just a few years ago now.
-Lots of worries about finances and I'm at the launching stage of life from parents, but having a terrible time as it seems I am entrenched in their relationship now as the spring board, not sure if they can stay married even if/when I leave home.
-Above leads into my extreme image issue where my future self that wants to emerge is being squashed by the fear and tight hold of my current self that is too terrified to grow/change and the lack of my voice being heard (I am still treated a lot like a child who needs to be taken care of in certain ways).
Those are the biggest things I think so far my therapist and I have dug around to surface up at the moment. So that is my intro I think I'll stop clicking away here and just post already! My goodness anyone who reads this I'm sure will have needed a meal break